Does your head rule your heart? Do you find yourself talking yourself out of doing things you want to do? Do you weigh up the pros and cons of every decision? Do you think about it, deciding in a sensible way whether to do what your heart wants or not?
I was talking about this with a few clients last month. When we talked about the things they wanted to do, to create, to focus on, I could hear that their head was ruling their hearts.
It goes something like this:
Heart: Let’s write a book
Head: That’s a really nice idea. One day, when we have time, we’ll do that.
Heart: Let’s write the book now.
Head: Hmm. Yeah, I’d love to. But I am very busy with other things.
Heart: Let’s write a book.
Head: It’s a lovely idea. But it’s a lot of work…and I don’t have time.
Heart: Write a book.
Head: I would love to. But what if I write it and no one reads it.
Heart: Write a book.
Head: I would love to, really. But what if I do and it’s not worth it – I don’t make any money off it.
Heart: Write a book.
Head: It’s a nice idea but…there’s so much to writing a book – editing, publishing, how do you get on Amazon?
Heart: Write a book.
Head: There are no guarantees. For every writer success story, there’s 1000 who don’t make it.
Heart: Write a book.
Do you recognise this kind of thought process? The heart is constant, it’s clear, it’s persistent. After each rejection from the head, the voice of your heart gets quieter. But it never goes away…it’s still there, whispering to you to do that thing your heart desires.
The head is right. There are no guarantees. You most likely are busy. And yet, the heart wants what it wants.
I had this conversation looping in my head in 2016…I had released my first book in 2014 and more books were calling to be written. But my head kept putting me off, with reasonable sounding objections and excuses. It’s a lot of work (it is). It takes a long time (it does). There’s no guarantee anyone will buy it (there’s not…but they did). It’s not worth it for the amount of work versus the amount of reward (this is arguable). I needed to focus on my clients and my business, and this was better use of my time (also arguable). I could do it when my business was more settled, or when I had more time, or at some other vague point in the future (yeah, right).
But my heart just would not let it go. The call was clear, persistent and eventually made a mockery of all the objections. It’s a lot of work that I enjoy. It takes a long time largely because I fit it round my business. People bought it…and more importantly, have been helped by it. Worth is not only measured in financial gain…also a book that is out there can ALWAYS sell. A book that’s in your head, can’t.
Anyway, ultimately the heart wants what it wants. And although it may not make sense to follow the nudges of your heart, or be quanifiably worth it, following your heart brings other rewards – joy, fun, learning, growth. The value of which do not lie in how much money you can make.
A few years ago I did a jewellery-making course. I sold a few pieces…managed to pay for most of the (large amount) of beads I bought. But the biggest gifts I got from that course were the lessons in creativity – that everyone thinks they’re not creative (and they are); that the more you create, the more creativity you can access (the infinite creative well); that losing yourself in creativity is the most joyous thing to do.
My head tried to rule my heart that time too, to tell me I didn’t have the time or the money (if my head had realised how much it would end up costing, it would have had a fit! Instead of one 5 week course, I ended up doing 5×5 week courses!). My heart won. And I’m glad it did. Because my heart, as always, was right.
There may not be rational reasons to do what your heart wants…so why not just do it because it’s what your heart wants? Let your heart rule your head every now and again. Follow those calls. They won’t go away if you don’t, they’ll just cause a permanent ache, like an itch that wants to be scratched.
So tune in this week to your heart and listen. What does your heart want? What’s calling you? What has your head talked you out of? And can you take the risk and let your heart lead?
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