I have written a lot about self-care over the last few years (for my free ebook on self-care, click here), and the basic idea of self-care is doing things that care for you – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am often intrigued by how people (including myself) do the opposite of self-care, they self-hurt. Not necessarily by cutting themselves or in any obvious way ‘self-harming’, but by not noticing when the little things that make up a life detract from their enjoyment. And sometimes it is the so-called good habits that turn toxic.
One of the reasons I was so grateful to be sick last week was that it forced me to cut out so many things that I normally do…and to notice when I was doing something that actually made me feel worse. For example, I have a series of ‘daily practices’ that help me make my life amazing, like meditations, yoga, gratitude, journalling, channelling, affirmations. But I had made them into a chore by trying to do 15 things every day – whether I wanted to or not.
The irony is that I do these to make myself feel better, but I spent half the day avoiding the chore and berating myself for not doing them. (oh how I laughed when I realised what I was doing!) So they didn’t make me feel better! Each process, each item, done in its right time does help me – whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually…but that doesn’t mean I have to gorge on them!
Awareness is the key to making sure that something or someone who once enhanced your life and made it better STILL does. It’s amazing how often we continue with a so-called ‘good’ habit long after it stops serving us. Let me be clear here: to my mind, something serves you and enhances your life if you get joy from it. So running for 5 miles a day does not count if you hate it. If you love to run, then that’s something that serves you and enhances your life.
If we really believed in our inherent worth, we would never tolerate habits, or anything that did not serve us. Imagine believing so much in your divine magnificence that you nurtured yourself, cared for yourself, put your joy before your ‘should’s, gave yourself the tender, loving, gentle, total love and respect. Imagine if every ‘good’ habit you had added to your joy, instead of being a chore and wrecking your life!
Something to play with
Check your ‘good’ habits. Do the things that you do to make your life better make you feel fabulous? If not, maybe it’s time to swap a tired old habit for a new shiny, joyful one?
Leave me a comment with your thoughts below.
Joy be with you.
Love
Donna.x