What was the last piece of ‘advice’ you were given? Was it to get out more, to work harder, to go on a diet, to sort yourself out, to be more focused? We’re all surrounded by well-meaning people who give us advice, sometimes asked for, sometimes unasked. A lot of advice is useful, relevant and helpful. Sadly, some advice is just painful! I have a plan for dealing with advice – if the thought of taking the advice makes me feel good, I take it.
If it doesn’t – if it makes me feel ‘bad’, I don’t take it – no matter how logical it seems, or how appropriate. You see, there is no right or wrong when it comes to advice – only the person hearing the advice can know whether it feels good for them. Believe it or not, you are the expert on you! You are the only person in the wide world that can possibly know what is best for you…even if (gasp!) it goes against ALL advice.
When I started my own business, I got lots of advice…most of it unwanted, a lot of it irrelevant and useless, and some downright bizarre. For years, I would listen to this advice, take it on board, sometimes even take action on it – even though it just made me feel bad. I felt bad because I didn’t want to do what they said, I felt bad because I didn’t do what they said, but mostly I felt bad because I was listening to advice I had no intention of following!
When someone gives you advice, they can only give it from their perspective of the world – they can’t give advice from your perspective because they are not you. And you have the right to ignore their advice without feeling bad about it. Now I’m not dissing advice at all – occasionally people will come up with an absolute gem of advice that will change your life. I just want to make sure that you know how to tell if advice is right for you or not.
This all started because I was talking to a friend about “The Yes Man” – a book written by Danny Wallace where he accepts every invitation sent his way (with occasionally hilarious consequences). My friend said ‘you should do that’, and at the time I agreed – but then I noticed that I’d started to feel bad about it – on one occasion I could barely keep my eyes open so said no…and felt bad that I’d put sleep before socialising. Insanity. So, make sure the advice you’re following makes you feel good…and if it doesn’t, why are you following it?
– Something To Play With –
Over the next week, notice the advice you are given. Notice if the idea of following the advice makes you feel good or bad. If you feel ‘bad’, thank them for the advice, and ignore it. If you feel ‘good’, take it on with good cheer…and make sure you keep feeling good. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.