After talking to several clients, friends, and myself about self-care, I started to wonder if we learnt how to take care of ourselves from torturers. Do you recognise any of the following methods of ‘caring’ for yourself?
1. Feed your victim none nutritious food
2. Order your victim around
3. Deprive your victim of sleep
4. Physically, emotionally and mentally abuse your victim
5. Deprive your victim of water
6. Judge your victim harshly
7. Have impossibly high expectations, and get angry and abusive when these expectations are not met
8. Find your victim’s sensitivities and use them to hurt them again and again.
9. Keep your victim caged in an unhealthy environment with no fresh air
10. Teach others how to treat your victim – with no respect.
Seriously, take another look at the list above – ever done any of those things to yourself? I suspect most of you will be able to say ‘yes, I have done them all to myself’. Interesting eh? Even more interesting is that most of us would never treat someone else the way we treat ourselves.
If we wouldn’t treat anyone else like that, why do we do it to ourselves? We are not cruel by nature, we just don’t know any better. We grew up watching people be horrible to themselves, we’re surrounded by other people caught in the torture trap, and getting out of that trap is seen as ‘boring’ or ‘selfish’.
A magnificent catch-22 isn’t it? Despite the fact that we know torturing ourselves is NOT the answer, we are turned off the alternative because society as a whole advocates the torturous road. Are you running with the herd on hot coals? If you were to consciously choose whether to continue beating yourself into the ground or taking excellent care of yourself, which would you choose?
What have you unconsciously chosen? Have you spent so long torturing yourself that you have Stockholm syndrome ? Are you ready to make a new choice? Trust me, it is not selfish, or wrong, or boring, or square to take care of yourself. You deserve to be healthy, energetic, happy and getting the best from your body, mind and spirit. More torture will only bring more pain, and you deserve better from you. Choose life, not persecution.
Love
Donna.x
PS this is an excerpt from my FREE ebook “The First Step To a Joyful Life” – to get your free copy, go to https://donnaonthebeach.com/blog/index.php/sign-up-for-more-donna/