I was listening to a podcast today with interviews of various sports people, and I noticed their attitude was on the positives of the current situation (spending time with family/resting) and on what they want to come out of the situation with.
They wanted to learn, to use the time constructively, to enjoy (as far as possible) the situation they found themselves in.
Ok, these particular people are lucky in that they don’t have current financial worries, they are home with family and they will have a job to go to.
But even if you don’t have those priviledges, we can still all learn something from their perspective.
It really struck me, because it’s not what I’ve heard many people saying.
I’ve heard a lot of reaction, and lecturing and hectoring and judging and shame for being judged.
Fuck that shit.
Let’s let all that go, and take a more personal perspective (because that was one of the things that struck me, this was just how those people are).
What do you want to come out of this situation?
What do you want to do with the spare time, if you have it?
(If you’re a key worker – Thank you, I applaud you – and you want to be thinking about making your self-care as good as you can with the limited time you have available.)
For the rest of you: How do you want to come out of this?
Is how it’s gone so far the way you want it to keep going?
I handled it badly at first. No judgement, no blame. I was thrown into a maelstrom of anxiety and stress and totally freaked out.
That was weeks one (pre UK lockdown when we were starting to realise how serious this shit was) and two (lockdown began in the UK).
Week three was learning how to deal with a high level of anxiety and stress.
Week four, I found my equilibrium (hooray!) and started to look forward again.
And this is an important point – wherever you are on this scale of AAARGH to Equilibrium – no judgement, no criticism. You are where you are.
You may even have switched between anxiety, hopefulness, strength and stress over and over – it’s been a corona-coaster.
You feel how you feel. And it’s all ok.
If you’re at equilibrium, now’s the time to do some exploration. Who do you want to be? How do you want to be? What do you want to do?
Key word: WANT.
You don’t have to want to learn to play piano, learn a language, complete a project, make your house into dream Barbie house.
This isn’t about what you think you should do. It’s about what you genuinely want to do, about your heart’s desires and soul calls.
What is calling you?
What would feel good?
In case you need them, here are some ideas:
- do some serious resting
- sort your house out – tidy, paint, clear, sort
- become healthier
- become fitter
- think deeply about what you want from your life
- consider what you will want to change (if anything) when we get back to normal
- learn something
- bed in a good habit (meditation, yoga, dancing, laughing)
- quit a bad habit
- volunteer
- clear your to read pile
- clear your Sky Plus or equivalent
- do as many fun and enjoyable things as you can fit in every day
- start that book you’ve been thinking about writing
- learn to put on makeup properly
- do some crafting with all that stuff shoved under your bed
- watch old movies
Deciding to do these things will probably bring up other stuff – resistances, obstacles, patterns of self-criticism or perfectionism…even with the more fun and relaxed stuff, so be warned!
But it will also bring benefits to your mental and emotional (and perhaps spiritual and physical) health too.
You’ll feel better. And that is well worth doing right now.
I’m focusing on 2 things right now:
- My daily meditation practice – I’ve done 40 days in a row now (woohoo) and I plan to keep that up.
- My health. It was already my focus before this. It’s still a focus, and I plan to use this time to find a balance of working and resting.
Those 2 things are making me feel better. More may come into focus as this Time of Discombobulation goes on, but for now, that’s enough.
Let me know what you’re feeling called towards (if anything – and if nothing is calling and you’re just keeping your head above water, that’s fine too) and how you’re doing with this temporary change of life – I’d love to hear from you.
Stay safe, stay well, stay cool!
PS if you need some support through this Time of Discombobulation, I’m offering a free coaching session for you – to help you find your equilibrium, to decide what to do with yourself during this time, to help you explore what you want from life, to help you with the resistances and obstacles that come up when you try to do something. No fee, no pitch, no obligation.
To book, just contact me and we’ll set up a time to speak.
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