I was reading an article on Facebook yesterday about Bill Murray, and his attitude to life, and this quote jumped out at me:
“The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.”
Isn’t that so true? Have you noticed that? When you are relaxed, life is easier. I notice that sometimes when people dare to interrupt my very busy and important day, I’m furious – don’t they know I’m working?! And very busy and important? (Yes, I know I sound like a jackass.)
But then sometimes I’m totally OK with it. It can depend on what I’m doing – when I’m in the middle of writing about an inspired idea is a terrible time to interrupt me because I can’t always get back to that ethereal wisp of an idea. But in general, the difference between going batshit crazy when interrupted and being cool about it is how relaxed I am.
The guidance I most get from my inner wisdom is “relax, chill out, lighten up”.
The guidance I most give to clients is “relax, chill out, lighten up”.
We live in a world where stress is worn like a badge of honour. “Oh my God, I’m so stressed out” we say…and people are impressed that we are so busy and important. Isn’t that just a little bit fucked up? To see someone who is getting overwhelmed and grumpy and see that as a reason to admire them because they can handle so much pressure? There’s a weird subconscious link between stress and success…the two do not necessarily go together. A lot of successful people are stressed, but that’s not what makes them successful!
And there is another way to be successful. Relaxed. Easy-going. Chilled. Seeing stress as a sign you need help, need self-care, need to take some stuff off your plate, need a holiday, need to change something. But some of us have kind of forgotten how to relax! We’re so used to being stressed, tired, wound up, exhausted, we can’t remember how it feels to relax.
So here are 5 tips to help you relax:
1. Relax your muscles
Literally go through your body and consciously relax your muscles – from your toes to your scalp. (I have a visualistaion that takes you through that if you’d like to be guided through it here – beware, it might start playing instantly when you click on the link!). I do this a lot – and it makes me laugh to notice that my butt feels tense (seriously!) or how often my jaw is tight or my neck and shoulders are scrunched up. Remind your body what it feels like to be (more) relaxed. And if you want to take this further, get thee to a massage therapist. (I found my new favourite salon for lovely massage via Groupon this month).
2. Laugh a lot
Laughing is super relaxing and stress relieving. It’s a great work out for your lungs. It feels good. The more you can laugh at life, the easier you’ll find life. We often feel everything is so significant – if we don’t get what we want, it’ll be a disaster; or if we don’t do this thing by this date, the sky will fall in (don’t even get me started on how the media fuel this kind of disaster thinking). Laughing helps remind you that things are often not as big a deal as we make them.
3. Meditate
Sit in lotus position on a cold floor for 10 hours…no, I’m joking!!! That style of meditation isn’t for everybody…me included. Find your meditation sweet spot. Try walking meditation, watch the sunrise or sunset or the stars or the clouds, listen to the leaves move through the trees, focus on your breath, chant a mantra, sit quietly with a notepad in your lap and write inspirations or doodle, colour in pictures, make something (a cake, jewellery, cards), do a guided visualisation. They’re all meditative, they all work. Just find your way to stillness…it relaxes the mind, body, heart and soul.
4. Dance
Or another fun way of moving your body – anything that gets you smiling and enjoying yourself. Walking, doing yoga, dancing and swimming do it for me. Sometimes you need something full on to release some of that tension and stress (like a run or bike ride or some other full on cardio workout)…as long as you feel more relaxed afterwards and you don’t hate it (if you do body movement you hate…why?), it’s all good.
5. Make and take time for fun, relaxing stuff
Again, there is a list as long as my arm for this one…and what I find fun and relaxing (Shakespeare plays, gigs, eating out with friends, reading, walking in the countryside), you may find tedious and stressful (I’ve sat behind that person at the theatre who is clearly finding Shakespeare a total drag!). So what do you find fun? What do you find relaxing? And do you make time for it? Regularly? Find things you can squeeze in daily for 10 minutes, as well as special things you do less regularly (but not so irregularly that Jesus was a lad last time you did it!)
No one is going to give you the time to have fun and relax…you have to TAKE it! Also, be aware of what actually does relax you…maybe TV or Facebook or surfing the net relax you…but also, maybe they don’t! I’ve realised 2 out of those 3 actually don’t relax me at all…and the other needs to be used in moderation as there are better ways for me to relax than staring at the idiot box.
Over to you…
What do you do to relax, to shake off the stress, to dance through life without a care in the world (even when you’re carrying the problems of a lifetime on your shoulders)? Imagine if you could be so laid back and relaxed that life was easy…and you were better with everyone you see and everything you do. Take time this week to move in the direction of that super relaxed you.
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