I restarted my morning yoga practice last week (I sleep better when I do yoga)…and I have a 70% success rate. It’s not perfect, it’s not 100%, but frankly, it’s good enough, and it’s certainly better than I was doing before last week.
So often when I was younger, I’d commit to something – a diet, giving up smoking, going to the gym. Then I’d miss one day or fall of the wagon and that would be it.
Perfection, or nothing.
No inbetween.
No “oh well, it is human to err. Git back on that hoss.”
Just giving up at the first sign of imperfection.
Over the years I’ve learned that this is utterly ridiculous. It is normal to fall off the wagon with stopping your bad habits and integrating your good habits.
Nobody is perfect.
The question is, will you let one slip up derail the entire project? Or will you decide that 70% is good enough; and if you didn’t do it yesterday, you can do it today?
One of my daily habits is to exercise every day (daily yoga is helping with that, because I’m done before I even start the day…yay!).
I started at Lent…and I don’t think I missed one day of Lent. So I decided to carry it on.
But then I got sick, I missed a few days and I could feel the practice slipping away from me. I could feel my motivation sliding away. That old “perfection or nothing” habit raised its ugly head.
So I thought about it and I wondered…would I be ok with missing 3 days a month (90% daily exercise). Yes I would. Would I be ok with missing 6 days a month (80%). Yes I would.
Because what I want is not to be perfect, but to be exercising regularly…because it makes me feel good.
And some days, I just don’t wanna! Or I forget. Or I’m sick.
Giving myself this bit of leeway hasn’t stopped me from exercising daily. I don’t take advantage of the relaxed rules and decide not do my exercise.
In fact, in the last 3 weeks, I have 100% record. But 4 weeks ago, I missed 2 days. I didn’t want to exercise. And it was ok. I was allowed to have my resistance, and enjoy my lazy days.
Once I was done with the resistance, I started up again. Because while I want to have the freedom to NOT do my daily exercise when I don’t want to do it, I also DO want to exercise daily…because it makes me feel better.
Rigidity, inflexibility and being super hard on yourself make it harder to do the things you want to. Because if you’re not perfect, you’ll disappoint yourself.
And nobody’s perfect, so disappointment is inevitable.
Then out comes the inner critic, daggers drawn, ready to tear you to pieces…for being human!
So if you have started or want to start a new habit or practice, and you’re not perfect, be gentle with you. If you can, build in some leeway – is 70% good enough?!
You can still aim for 100%, but if you miss, there’s leeway there to say “I still did good”.
Most of us are way too hard on ourselves, and if that was the most effective form of motivation, I wouldn’t object. But it’s not.
It undermines our confidence, makes us feel bad about ourselves, and doesn’t help us be the best we can be.
So let yourself off the hook eh? You may not be perfect (shock, horror!) but you’re doing your very best…and that might just be good enough.
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