OnTheBeach – Don’t Tell Me I Suck

Did you know there are 12 weeks left until the end of this year? Yes, I know – time flies doesn’t it? I seem to spend my life saying “I can’t believe it’s October/January/2009/nearly Christmas”. Anyway, what has 2010 been like for you? Did you achieve what you wanted to? Have you had lots of fun? Have you been falling just a little bit more in love with life every day? Are you happy with how life is progressing? If the answer to any of those questions is ‘no’, perhaps the time has come to try a little life coaching? I have 3 one to one coaching spots open between now and Christmas – do you want to take one of them? To find out more about the how, why, where, when, who and how much, click here where you will find answers to all those questions and more! I look forward to working with you to create a life you love. And if you spot any mistakes on this page, please let me know! Despite reading through it 100 times, I am sure I’ve missed something! – Don’t Tell Me I Suck –

One of my least favourite things in the whole world is receiving e-mail that tells me I suck. Not because of anything I’ve done, not thoughtful feedback from someone who knows me, but a random e-mail from some ‘expert’ who tells me what I’m doing wrong and why I suck and why my approach will never work and how they are wonderful and have all the answers.

Grrr. Back in the early years of my business, I was subscribed to hundreds of these things from marketers, business experts and random people off the internet. And every time I received them, I would shrink a little more in confidence. I would read them through, recognise the terrible patterns they described and take their word for it that because I was listening to music while I worked, my business would tank – or some other such shite. It very nearly drove me out of business.

Luckily, I found people who didn’t jump on this bandwagon and instead of telling me I sucked, they just gave me useful information I could use to ‘get better’ at whatever it was. Without making me feel bad about myself and my chances first. People who told it like it was (building a business takes time, changing your life takes time, sorting your financial life takes time etc) without making me discouraged.

It may be a ‘wonderful’ sales technique (doesn’t work on me by the way) but if it leaves me feeling like I’ve just bitten into a rotten apple, it’s not good. The real truth is that there are as many ways of doing things as there are people in the world. Everyone is unique, and has a unique style. Sure, we can model ourselves on successful people…but people who fit our style rather than people who are polar opposites from us.

For example, I know of a successful author who gets up at 5 am to write. I would love to write more books, but I am not going to get up at asleep o’clock to do it. Not least because I am at my worst, my least creative and my grumpiest first thing in the morning – not something conducive to great writing! But I have heard this author say that you ‘have to’ get up early to write.

Hmm. Maybe he ‘has to’. But I am pretty sure that amongst the millions of authors out there, there are some who write in the afternoon, or even (gasp of horror) in the evening. It’s horses for courses. Remember this the next time you have someone who knows nothing about you telling you what you should do. What they mean is ‘this is what I would do’ – which might well be helpful…but it also might be as useless as the advice to get up at asleep o’clock when you are not a morning person.

Anyway, this subject kicked off today because I received an e-mail from someone basically telling me (without knowing a damn thing about me) that the way I was doing business was ‘wrong’. I unsubscribed. If you know me and how I’m doing things, feel free to tell me I suck – I appreciate constructive criticism, it helps me to get better. But don’t tell me I suck when you have no idea about me.

– Something to Play With –

When you get advice this week, remember that what they mean is ‘this is MY opinion’, not ‘this is the law’ – the world has space for all sorts of different routes to success in all areas. Trust yourself to know what’s right for you (if it makes you feel bad/ill/cross, it’s probably not right for you!) And if you have e-mails coming into your inbox that make you feel bad, unsubscribe! Want to share your thoughts on this article?  Leave me a comment below.  Or pop over to my facebook page and write on my wall.

Love

Donna.x