OnTheBeach: Add a Spoonful of Sugar to Your Life

So, have you been setting your goals for the year? Making resolutions? Telling yourself that THIS is the year, this is YOUR year, the time is now to do all the things you haven’t done for the last 5 years? Hey, don’t get me wrong – you’ll get no criticism from me. I used to set the exact same resolutions for years: give up smoking, stop drinking, lose weight, pay off my debts, get a job I didn’t hate, sort out my love life. The year I made a resolution not to make any more resolutions was the year I made most of those changes…and made progress on the rest.

I haven’t set any New Years’ Resolutions for about 12 years now. And while I do have goals, they’re different now. Instead of “do this”, they’re more “align with that”. Instead of “get this thing exactly or be forever damned” it’s more “follow this path of joy and intuition and see what happens”. My “goals” are much softer, gentler, and more vague. Exactly what we’re told not to do.

Goals (apparently) should be specific, measurable, timed, achievable, realistic. SMART. Excuse me while I barf. I’ll be frank, just like resolutions, SMART goals never worked for me. At all. They did a great job at making me mad with myself for not hitting the goal in time. They really helped me to make my desires smaller (‘realistic’ and ‘achievable’). They were spectacular at taking away my energy and joy and zest for life. They were awesome at draining my self confidence…but for achieving…not so much!

If you are one of those people who set resolutions every year and follow them through; or you set SMART goals and smash ’em every year…good for you! Well done, you’ve found a process that works – you can feel smug and happy and ignore the rest of what I have to say today (although you may find you can improve your process…just sayin). Oh, and I apologise, but I thought you were not real…like unicorns.

But I guess just because I’ve never met anyone who keeps their resolutions or hits their SMART goals, that doesn’t mean you don’t exist. Anyway, for the rest of us, there’s another way – a more interesting, fun, way to do this Life-Planning process. Figure out what we really, truly want at the core – whether it’s specific, realistic, timed, achievable, measurable, or not. Figure out what you really want, and go after that.

Your goals (intentions, dreams, ambitions, vision for your life, whatever you want to call it) are just that…YOURS. So whatever works for you is what’s right. Whatever makes your heart beat faster, your mind race with excitement, your soul dance and your belly tingle…that’s what’s right. Are your resolutions doing that for you? Are your goals hitting that spot? Or do you need to try something new?

Do you need to try having vague, unmeasurable, impossible, fantastic and un-time-constrained goals? Do you need to try resolutions that are FUN, not a nod to the dour, miserable, life-shrinking shrine that most resolutions have become? Do you need to get back in touch with what makes your soul sing and your heart dance and your joy spike high? Do you want your life to be about fun and joy and laughter and connection and feeling great?

Then take another look at your goals and resolutions. Have a little happy dance to get yourself into the right energy (joyful, fun, light-hearted, child-like) and ask yourself what would be great, what you would love to create in your life, what you are deeply desiring, how you want to feel, who you want to be…and let these fun, joyful, creative ideas be your guiding principles for 2015, not “lose weight”; “stop having fun”; “change everything about life!”

Your goals (intentions, desires, resolutions, ambitions, visions for your life) can be the catalyst for wonderful change and loving life…or they can be just another stick with which you beat yourself – year after year after year. Having tried both, I know which I prefer! Add a spoon-full of sugar to your life this week and look at what would be fun for you, what you would love, what you would want if you could have everything…

And if you need a little help with this…I’ve added a new freebie for my subscribers – a 7 page worksheet excerpted from the “Create a Life Worth Falling in Love With E-Workshop” to help you get super clear about what you want in your life. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy, simply sign up here and you’ll get access to this worksheet plus a host of other fab freebies!

Lots of love

Donna.x