The world of Big Dreams is a beautiful one, full of adventure and promise and potential…and it also spawns some crazy (and massively unhelpful) beliefs, ideas, truisms and myths! These myths will make you think you have no big dreams, or your dreams aren’t big enough, or you can’t do them because you’re not a one-legged unicorn or something equally bizarre. But these myths should not stop you…because they’re just not true! Here are my top 5 (6), and why they’re absolute rubbish.
1. Your big dreams will come knocking on your door…and if they don’t, you don’t have any
Dreams don’t get posted through your door – you have to excavate them! Some people are born knowing what they want to do, and their life never deviates them from that path. I’ve never met one, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist! For most of us, we want to be something when we’re 5…and then life changes that – either making us feel we can’t, or we realise that we don’t really want to be a nurse/teacher/astronaut/mud pie maker after all.
For most of us, when we’re 15, we haven’t got a clue what we want to do, because our experience of what’s possible is limited. (no one I know still does what they told their career advisor they wanted to do when they were 15!) For many of us, we still don’t know what we want to do when we grow up at 21, 30, 40, 50 … Who cares? It’s fairly normal…but if you’ve been waiting for your dream to find you…maybe it’s time you went looking for it?
Everyone has dreams and desires – sometimes they’re pretty well hidden under layers of life. When I was little, I wanted to be a writer (I think I wanted to be Enid Blyton to be honest!) – and then life happened, and I truly believed I couldn’t be a writer. It took me 15 years of personal development work and 8 years of blogging to be able to admit, even to myself, that I still wanted to write. That dream was pretty well buried!
Go find your dreams – it’s a treasure hunt, an excavation, a dig for gold…but don’t sit on your sofa waiting for them to knock your door.
2. A Big Dream should be huge and world-changing
This is absolute rubbish. The only requirement of a Big Dream is that it feels big to you. If it’s big to you, it’s a Big Dream. That’s it. Some people do desire to change the world. You don’t have to be one of them. You might just want to change a little corner of the world – that is just as valid, just as big, just as important. You don’t have to be Mother Theresa, you don’t have to be Nelson Mandela, you have to be you.
With your dreams – your desires, your ambitions, your yearnings, your callings. What’s big to you may seem teeny tiny and boring to someone else. That’s fine – you’re not asking them to follow your dream. It’s yours. You get to do it your way. It’s your life. It’s your choice. It’s your dream. And you get to choose how big a Big Dream you want to follow. As you follow your dreams, they may get bigger (they might just not want to frighten you off in the early days!), but it’s not necessary – as long as your dreams feel like they’re big and fabulous to you, that’s enough.
Size really doesn’t matter when it comes to dreams!
3. Following a Big Dream should be easy, or it’s the wrong path
What utter bollocks. Following Big Dreams is CHALLENGING AS FUCK! I do not know one person who is following their big dreams who hasn’t struggled at some point. Again, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist…but now I’ve spoken to a lot of Big Dreamers, I’m fairly confident I can say it’s a tough road. Big Dreams call the best from you – they ask you to be the best you can be…and that means getting over your shit and putting in the work.
Once you get used to the big dream journey, it does get…not easier, but you get used to it being hard, so it doesn’t feel as challenging. And eventually you get to the space of welcoming the challenges, because they mean you’re growing, improving, getting better at your craft of being the creator of your life. And then it looks easy to the outside world, who just see ALAKAZAM! A dream is born.
But they didn’t see the tears, the fears, the paralysing doubt, the days you didn’t want to get out of bed, the nights you lay awake, the times you threw your Big Dream out of the metaphorical window. Keep at it. Sometimes it’s bloody hard work, sometimes it’s flowing, sometimes it feels like you’re banging your head against a brick wall, sometimes you’re dancing ahead in joyous abandon, sometimes you feel like you’re on the wrong path, sometimes this path has your name written on it in bluebells.
As long as you still want your dream, keep going…the challenges are part of the beautiful journey.
4. Someone like me can’t do xyz or it’s too late, I’m too old
Ok, listen, if you suck at science, you probably can’t be a scientist. And I probably can’t be a champion ice skater, because I can’t even stand on normal ground on a skate, never mind on ice. But most of our dreams are doable for us…otherwise why would they be our dreams? Perhaps a dream to be a footballer or a ballerina fell by the wayside 20 years ago…and now it’s genuinely not possible…but can you still play football or dance?
People who do the things you desire to do are JUST LIKE YOU. They’re not super human, they’re just normal people who did extraordinary things. I’ve travelled the world, I’ve written a book, I’ve had my own biz for years, I’ve jumped out of a plane (never again!)…but I’m just a normal person – just like you. People of all classes, races, creeds, religions, sexes have done all sorts of things…and they’re just like you.
People are people. If you’re a person, you can. If you don’t know how, you can learn. If you don’t have the confidence, you can gain confidence. If you are too fat/thin; tall/short; male/female; young/old; you can find a way round it if you really want to. I thought I was too young to be a coach…at 28. When I told my coach (who was also 28), she laughed at me. And quite right, it was just an excuse.
What if someone like you could? Just…what if?
And the “too old” one deserves it’s own paragraph…
So you think you’re too old? Are you dead? (if so, and you’re dead and reading this, get in touch…this I have to explore) If you’re not dead it’s not too late. I love stories of 90-odd year olds learning to read or play the drums, getting degrees, doing things they always wanted to…keep your eyes open for these inspiring stories around the internet.
You’re not too old until you’re dead!
5. You need confidence/experience/something I don’t have to do XYZ
At the risk of sounding like I’m from the 1920’s, poppycock! How do you think you gain confidence and experience? By doing the things you need to do. No one ever became an expert overnight – it takes work, dedication, action and balls. If you don’t have whatever it is you think you need (and you might be wrong by the way, you might not need it at all!), go and get it.
The people you know or have seen on the net who have done what you want to do didn’t have some kind of magical pass to get where they did. They started, they kept going, they improved, in some cases they gained mastery, they failed, they fell, they fucked up, they got up again and again and again and kept going. That’s how it works. Nobody’s perfect – everyone has some issues or inadequacies (real or imagined). Do it anyway.
Raise your confidence, practice and gain experience. Go do what you want to do even though you haven’t got all your ducks in a row!
Bonus myth 6. It’s too hard to make Big Dreams happen
Ok, I know I just spent the past 15 minutes telling you that Big Dreams are Hard Work…but they’re also joyful, awesome, fun and the most rewarding path you will ever take. Will it be tough? Yes. Will you have to overcome fears and doubts? Yes. Will this be the most painful thing you ever did? Probably not…and even if it is, it’ll be worth it! Big Dreams are wonderful to achieve – it’s an absolute joy.
And the path, even though it’s hard work, is fun too. A safe life is…safe. A Big Dreaming, Dream following life is joyous, interesting, stretching, diverting, empowering. And you get to do the stuff your heart desires, to follow the calls of your soul – what could be better? Don’t be premature in dismissing the calls of your soul…follow them a bit and see what happens, what fun unfolds, what adventures you’re called to.
Follow your dreams, follow your soul calls, listen to your heart…maybe it’ll be easier than you think!
What myths have been stopping you getting to your Big Dreams? Maybe it’s time to just ignore them and follow the calls of your soul anyway?!?
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