I had a very Monday-ish day on Monday. I was tired, and uninspired, and didn’t wanna, and everything was rubbish, and everything went wrong (spilt a glass of water over three…THREE…sets of headphones, wires and all. Sigh. And forgot to take the dog’s bags out so when she did her do, I had to run home to get bags, making my walk twice as long as I’d intended…too much info?? Sorry!). It was just a MEH day. I found a Facebook meme that said “I am stronger than Monday” which made me laugh, because this week, I wasn’t.
Monday kicked my ass.
But here’s the thing. Some days you just need some tlc, some R&R, some time to stop ‘doing’ and take some space (something I am always talking about doing!). Most of us crave space and time and rest and tlc…but when the day comes to take that time, we don’t!
We fight it. Trying to shake off our Mondayishness and do what we need to do. Instead of honouring it, taking the time, taking the day, or an hour, or just 5 minutes, pulling back, taking the act of self-love we so desperately need.
WHY???? Why is it so hard to honour what we need?
Because we’re just too busy and important??? Isn’t taking care of ourselves more important than any of the shit that’s so “busy” and “important”?
Ok, if you work for someone else, or if you have kids to take care of, you probably cannot honour the energy easily (but do challenge whether you really can’t honour it at all). But even those of us who are self-employed (and in my case, bang on about self-care ALL the time) find it difficult to honour the energy of ebb and take that time to pull back a little.
I am perfectly able to honour the energy of flow…if I’m in flow, I will push aside any and all non-essentials, and just stay with it as much as I can. But ebb energy? Oh no, I have to fight it. On Monday, I didn’t fight it hard – within an hour or two of waking up, I’d realised that there would be very little constructive doing and formed a new plan (to catch up with some coursework…so still doing, but doing something that felt good to do).
But I didn’t do it graciously. At all. I criticised myself, and grumbled, and bitched, and called myself all sorts of uncomplimentary names. It was a begrudging honouring of the ebb energy. Like being dragged to an event you don’t want to be at, and behaving sulkily and making it quite clear you don’t want to be there, thereby ruining the event for everyone else.
The irony is that I love to potter and pootle, and have a free day (so much so that I’m planning to make it a regular practice)…and yet when I feel meh and don’t want to do anything, instead of grasping that chance with both hands, i resist and dig in my heels and make it hard. Why?
Part of it is certainly some kind of misplaced work ethic, that I’m being ‘lazy’ and the Gods of Hard Work will strike me down (which I don’t believe in my conscious mind, but there’s still some unconscious stuff going on). But I think part of it is not seeing the ebb is as important as flow.
With no ebb, we cannot flow.
If the tide did not ebb, the world would drown. If there was no night, we’d be a world of sleep deprived maniacs. The ebb is just as important. I know that…but when I’m feeling ebby, I forget it (because I always want to be flowing).
Most of my clients do too – we all want to be creating, following big dreams, living large…but if we don’t honour the ebb, we get chronic or adrenal fatigue, we get sick, we get tired…and trying to push on through the ebb just leads to exhaustion, everything taking 5 times as long, and usually time wasted (ever worked on something when exhausted, only to have to redo it when you’re feeling better? yeah, that.)
So if you’re being called to ebb, to pull back, to rest, to laze, to ease off…do.
Honour the ebb energy.
Do what feels good.
Love yourself up.
And let flow return when it will.
If you’re having a bad day, tomorrow’s another day.
Take care of yourself.
Honour how you feel.
Know ebb is as important as flow
I never used to do this. The result was chronic fatigue (later diagnosed as MS), and 3-monthly meltdowns. All for the lack of honouring how I felt, easing off, pulling back, respecting the ebb. Meltdowns, exhaustion, chronic fatigue and nervous breakdowns aren’t that much fun! So remember that ebb is as important as flow…and honour both.
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