It’s time for another chapter from the book “Obstacle Busting” that I’m currently working on editing. This one’s another one that’s come up a lot from the lovely people who’ve been sharing what obstacles are in the way of them creating a life they love – no time.
Oh boy, if I had a pound for every time I heard this one, I wouldn’t need to work ever again. So, the first thing you need to know is that ‘no time’ is a really common obstacle – many people say that lack of time gets in the way of them making their biggest visions for their life a reality.
We’re all time deprived these days. We fill every spare minute with doing, so of course we have no time left-over. You have to make a conscious choice about where you spend your time. We’ve all got the same number of days in a week and hours in a day. How much of that time you can devote to creating your life is dependent on what you do to earn money, on family, on the length of your commute and so on…but it’s entirely your choice how you spend that ‘free’ time.
Yep, I know, it’s easy for me to say…but trust me, everyone has to make the choice to make their Dreams important enough to give them the time they need. And when this time takes away from family, that can be a tough choice to make. But it’s still a choice you make…and you can re-make it every day.
You can choose to take the time you need for you and model that for your family one day…and another day you can choose to take care of your sick child…because that’s your priority. It’s not a choice between your dreams and your family…it’s a choice as to what’s going to make you and your family happiest.
But when you’re running frantically through life, crying “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, it’s hard to see how you can make any other choices as to what to do with your time. And it’s practically impossible to make good choices from a position of stress and frenzy. So, first, you need to slow down.
Yeah, I know you don’t want to. You want to speed up and fill more spare moments with doing. It won’t work. You’ll burn out and although multi-tasking is seen as effective and positive, it’s not. It frazzles our brains, stresses us out and means we can’t see the wood for the trees that are flashing by at high speed.
So, slow down. Take space. Breathe. Pause.
(The more those words stress you out, the more you need this prescription.) Meditate. Stare at the sky. Allow your brain to rest. Relax. However you can.
I had a client who set a timer on her phone for 30 seconds and forced herself to sit still and do nothing for those 30 seconds. Another sat in the car for exactly one song before going to and leaving work. Another meditated for 5 minutes every morning at the start of work and every evening when getting home.
Whatever way of slowing down appeals to you, do it. You don’t have to be on a go slow for the rest of your life (although you might want to). You just need to be able to sit back long enough to see what can be juggled, what can be delegated, what can be dropped in order to give yourself the time you need.
Often there are compromises that can be made – Daddy time on Saturday mornings, Grandparent weekends, dropping old habitual appointments that no longer serve you, using your lunch hour for something other than bitching about work, reclaiming your commute time to do something positive.
For example, I’ve had clients who have read inspirational books, journalled or meditated on the train; I’ve had clients who listen to inspirational audios, have car discos (safely, of course) to up their vibe and feel energised, and who dictate into their voice notes app to do’s, ideas and even chapters for books in their car on the way to work.
Most of us never take the time to stop and see what we are doing in our frantic busy time. We’re too busy. Ironic, right? But when you do, you’ll often find that something you thought was a ‘non-negotiable’ is actually something you don’t like doing and can drop.
Not always – sometimes you’ll find you’re already using your time optimally. At this point, you have to look at what you’re choosing to make more important than your dreams. Ironing, chores, surfing the internet, shit TV? Outsource the ironing, get help with the chores, set a time limit on your surfing time, and switch off the TV…and suddenly you have more time.
One client discovered that outsourcing her ironing would cost £20 for work that would have taken her 2 hours. Another found her husband could use the vacuum cleaner with a bit of training (it’s not that hard). Another realised that she spent over 20 hours a week on the internet or watching programs she wasn’t interested in.
I don’t want you to throw out your telly – I love TV and watch a lot of it myself…but if I need more time, it’s the first thing to go, because it’s not that important to me (except for Strictly Come Dancing).
By hook or by crook you need to find little pockets of time where you can work on the things that are most important to you – even just 5 minutes here and there to start with. So often, we don’t do what we can with what we have (5 minutes here and there) because it’s ‘not enough’…but it is better than nothing.
1 hour a week on your dream life, in 10 minute increments isn’t ‘enough’…but it’s better than no minutes at all. And over time, those small increments of time add up…before you know it, you’ve spent 50 hours on writing your book or building your business or loving your life. Plus, once you’re already taking time for the life you want, you’ll find it easier to find more time…because it’s fun, and momentum breeds momentum.
No time is just an excuse – you need to make and take the time you need. No one will give it to you – you have to take control of your life and figure out how you can do it. Gently, curiously, openly…if you absolutely had to find 3 hours in your week, how would you do it? I know you can, and if you choose to make your dreams more important than your ‘busyness’ you will…
And if you are genuinely without any spare time right now (I’ve never met anyone who can’t find any time…but that doesn’t mean you don’t exist), start to plan for how and when you will make time. For example, 3 children under 5 leave very little time…but in a year or two, some time will become free – plan ahead for when they’re all in nursery or school…what will you do then? (If you don’t plan it, you’ll find the time filled with busywork.)
Claim your time back as soon as you can. Because it’s your time…in your life…to create the life you want – could you take time to make time for that?
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