Q: I told my husband about my Big Dream…and he is not supportive at all. In fact, he seems to be deliberately making life harder for me. I love him, but I also want to pursue my Dream…do I have to choose between them? Chris.
Firstly have compassion for your husband. Our Big Dreams are part of us, they’re calling from our soul and our heart. When we are ready to share them, we can have had 20 or more years to get used to the idea. When we tell other people, they don’t have that luxury of time to get used to it. So sometimes, surprise, shock, fear of change, scepticism or protectiveness can over-ride supportiveness!
Also, if it affects him specifically, that will also colour his reaction – for example if you following your dream means less time for him, or a change in the household income. Have compassion for the shock he may be experiencing. Also, sometimes when someone we know follows their big dream, it can feel threatening to us, or make us feel bad that we are not following our Big Dreams.
Secondly, think about ‘outcome focused communication’ – where you communicate with people with the outcome you want in mind. With that in mind, I want you to find out EXACTLY what his problem is. And then find a way round it. His attitude is an obstacle for you to get over, under, through, around. Make a game of it, have fun with it.
Write down: “I see my husband fully supporting my Big Dream and helping me to achieve it” (to find more about Carole Dore’s teachings, go to her website)
Love
Donna.x