Welcome to the ‘Big Dreams Come True’ interview series where I interview fabulous people (just like you!) about having their Big Dream come true. This month my guest is the lovely Jenni Johnston – a teacher and panda lover who followed her Big Dream and moved to China! Here’s Jenni’s story:
What Big Dream have you made come true?
I teach and live in China…home of pandas.
What was the catalyst for this dream – what made you want this?
I’d travelled to China a few times with my ex partner, and had visited alone to work with pandas at a reserve twice. At the end of that relationship I took time out and did some analysis as to what I was good at and where my heart was. It’s difficult to explain, but from the moment I first went to China 15 years ago, it felt like home.
What obstacles/challenges did you face along the way and how did you overcome them?
Where do you start?! I was 38 years old with no qualifications apart from those I left school with aged 15! I did an access course at university and then another three years to gain a BA in Scottish History, as visa requirements mean you need a degree to teach in China. I’m not naturally academic and had to work a lot harder than the younger students, but because I had my goal I never wanted to give up.
The first exam I sat I had a panic attack and walked out. Thankfully the adjudicator for the resit was a woman who had travelled to China and talked me through exam techniques and I never failed an exam or essay again. I juggled university with working part time in Asda, and my colleagues there were amazing and kept encouraging me to follow my dream. As well as not being academic, my confidence isn’t great – so living alone in China is a real success for me.
Another obstacle was bureaucracy. There was so much paperwork to complete beforehand, and one month before I was due to leave the rules were changed again. I had to change my flights three times! I had two days to give up my home, stay with my parents for one night and fly out to China, the timescales were so tight towards the end. My life is in a storage unit in Perth in Scotland.
One huge obstacle I also came across was doubt. Not on my part, but by others. I’d the support of close friends and family, but as a single middle aged woman, this was out of a lot of people’s comfort zones, and they couldn’t comprehend my dream and projected their fears onto me – or tried to. Many people thought I was running away from something, but that was never the case, I wanted to prove to myself I’d the capabilities.
What is the best thing about your dream coming true?
The students – I’ve always said I’ve learnt more from my students than they have learnt from me. I’ve been brought to tears on more than one occasion by listening to students’ personal or family experiences and given the history of China, there are students the same age as me who can remember eating rats, bark from trees or not having any food to eat due to the culture at that time. Students have given me gifts and memories that I will treasure forever, and I know that certainly in a few cases I’ve made an impression on them, as we still keep in contact via social media.
I’m also more confident. I think nothing of standing in a class of 70 students, encouraging them to speak, write and enjoy English. Teaching is my passion. I never realised until I came to China that I was actually good at it, Working hard on lessons for your students and trying to bring what to many of them is a boring subject alive (students must study English for ten years) is a challenge, I know more about Korean pop music and basketball than a middle aged woman should.
What is the worst thing about your dream coming true?
Living in a country such as China, simple everyday things you take for granted in the western world prove challenging – how many bottles of shampoo can one person buy mistaking it for conditioner! You need help with things like banking, buying train tickets, even ordering food, and as someone who lived independently in Scotland for a long time it can be a challenge to have to totally rely on someone for very simple things. It’s great because you build up fantastic friendships, but you can lose the feeling of independence when you have to ask for help, especially at the beginning of living in a different country.
Especially somewhere as China where rules and regulations change all the time – one day you could be living here legally, the next day being deported for an unknown reason. You have to trust that what someone is telling you is true, and you’re unusually unable to question the validity of what they are saying. Scams aren’t uncommon, and foreigners generally will be charged more for goods and services than Chinese people – and I mean on simple things like buying fruit or clothes, as the perception is that we are rich (absolutely not the case on my teaching salary).
You also become more fearful – not unexpected living in a country where I equate it almost to being deaf – you can see what is happening around you, but can’t understand a lot of it. Communication isn’t great, so I find myself either with cancelled classes, or extra classes, with no explanation. Adaptability is paramount living in China, you learn to go with the flow, not to stress about little things, and remember that it’s only a bad day, not a bad life.
I also sometimes feel like a zoo animal – in my first position I was the only western woman for maybe 300 miles in a small rural country town – I’ve also got long blonde hair, and a size 14 on a good day, unlike the Chinese stereotype. I’ve been photographed constantly, videoed, I once caused a car crash when a guy was staring at me so much he hit the car in front of him (I did stop to see if I could assist…but then I figured they knew where to find me if they needed me, I was fairly obvious!). Even now in a city of 6 million people I hear the word laowai (foreigner) every day, with small children pointing and staring at me.
What advice would you have for other people who want to make this Big Dream come true?
Follow your heart. If something feels right, do it. I instinctively somehow knew after my first visit to Beijing I would live there one day. I’d no idea how or when, but it was what my heart wanted me to do. There will always be obstacles in life, none more than dealing with Chinese bureaucracy when trying to renew your visa, but I truly believe things happen for a reason, and people come into your lives when you need them most – I’ve made amazing connections and friends here, and had wonderful opportunities to travel and work in really great schools.
Research, research, research. I was lucky in that I’d visited China numerous times before, but living in a country is very different to visiting for a few weeks. Even now I learn something new every day about teaching methods, Chinese culture and history. For any Big Dream you must have a contingency plan, back up Plan and support. I’ve had jobs offered and then rescinded due to changes in working conditions, I’ve had scam job offers (very common in China) and because I’d spent a long time researching teaching positions here, I was able to take up a fantastic position with a great company for my first job.
Network. Despite Facebook being banned in China, you can access it using a VPN and it’s a lifeline for me, not only as a means of communicating with friends and keeping updates with news. I belong to some amazing teaching and expat groups and we can bounce ideas off each other, keep updates with new developments and we all understand that homesickness and loneliness can kick in unexpectedly, a problem for me being an older teacher but also alone as in my current position there are few westerners here.
Never give up. If something is so important you, surely it’s best to face the challenges of achieving your goal, rather than giving up and wondering what if. I could have returned to Scotland if the dream hadn’t worked out, but it’s a personal strength for me that after three years I’m about to start a new position in a larger city as I love both teaching and China so much.
Did everything turn out as you expected it would when your dream came true?
Of course not! Three years down the line, I now don’t eat Chinese food having spent more time in hospital due to illness from Chinese food than I’d ever done in my life in the UK. My mandarin skills are still not great, as China is such a large country, there are almost 300 different languages and dialects, so whilst I can be understood in the north of China, in the south I can’t understand a word!
It was only three months ago, after almost three years here, that I saw a panda again. Every day something happens – not bad, but you will see, hear or experience something that still after three years makes you say OIC (only in China). You take things for granted others would be horrified at – eating snake, dog, any part of an animal in fact (I don’t eat meat here any more!), spitting in the street, the lack of personal space, the noise, the pollution. I don’t queue, I’m pushing onto subways and buses with the Chinese so I’m conscious that I’m perhaps not as polite as I was in Scotland.
Life is about challenging yourself, I’m 46 soon and still love the thrill of teaching in a language most students don’t have a great grasp of. I love the fact that every single class is different, every student brings their own unique style and personality to my classes. I’m mostly more confident, I’m a lot more independent in the face of the language barrier, more willing to ask for help, or to stand miming something I want to buy, or frantically using my phone translation app. I’m more willing to make a fool of myself to achieve what I want, whether it’s food, clothing or the end goal of a class activity. My terrible artwork and singing is well known amongst my students.
What’s next on your Big Dream list?
To do my CELTA and then my MA TESOL – these are teaching English qualifications that will enable me to get a better job, perhaps not in China, as qualifications are flexible here, but I love teaching and I realised I’ve actually very good at it, I love researching and planning lessons, and the sheer pleasure of watching a student “get” what you’re explaining to them never stops.
After 20 years of working as a secretary, Jenni decided to follow her heart and teach in China, the home of pandas. Four years of university as a mature student followed before flying off to the unknown – where Jenni literally didn’t even know where her new school was. Three years later, she’s still there, living with all the challenges life in China throws up on a daily basis. Thanks to the Chinese version of eBay and Walmart she can get most western foods, thanks to Facebook she can keep in touch with friends and family, however irn bru has proved elusive!
Thank you so much Jenni for sharing your Big Dream Coming True story – I’m completely fascinated by your journey! Have you had a Big Dream Come True? I’d LOVE to interview you about it – get in touch and share your Big Dream Story.
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