Of course, it isn’t the word’s fault, it is the way we wield a ‘should’ – we use it as a weapon against ourselves. Try it – think of 5 things you should be doing or have done. Feel good about any of them? No, thought not. In fairness, as a weapon to make yourself feel like shit, it is enormously effective. But I’m guessing that as you’re reading this blog, feeling like shit isn’t high on your list of priorities?
If it is…what are you thinking??? I’ve long thought that in place of “I should” should be “I should but I’m not gonna” because most of the time shoulds are made up of things you don’t want to do. After all, if you wanted to do them, you would be! There would be no need to should on yourself. You may be getting the sense from this that I am not a big fan of the word ‘should’!
I don’t mind it in some uses, but when it is used by someone to beat themselves up over what they have not done (and probably will not do), it drives me into a furious frenzy. It is not motivating to go through a list of all the things you ‘should’ do; it is never good when ‘I should be doing the ironing instead of healing’ is the main thought in someone’s mind; and it is tragic when someone uses a should to stop themselves enjoying their life.
Please, for me, just for this week, don’t use “I should”…replace it with “I want to” and enjoy your life. Life’s too short to make it ‘shouldy’. And of course, if you stop shoulding on yourself, you will have more time for this month’s daily practice of Farting Around!
– Something To Play With –
Your challenge this week is to erase the phrase “I should” from your vocabulary. Every time you catch yourself saying it (and if you’re like my clients, this could be a hundred times a day!!), stop and replace it with “I want…” For example “I should be working” “I want to go and enjoy the sunshine” or “I should be doing chores” “I want to go to the pictures”. The world won’t end…and you might even enjoy yourself! Want to share your thoughts on this article? Comment below.
Love
Donna.x