Last week I was getting myself into a super-tizzy. The same super-tizzy I swore last year I’d never do again after nearly sending myself into a nervous breakdown over self-imposed deadlines. But this time was a little different…this time there was an awareness that this path does not lead to good places – it’s stressful, painful, makes life harder and ended up being so bad I swore I wouldn’t do it again!
I knew that there must be a better way. There’s a strange compulsion in the western world these days to put one’s nose to the grindstone, to work very hard, to wear your stress like a badge of honour – “look how extremely busy and important I am”. But there’s one minor problem with this way of being: it is not effective, efficient or fun.
It is not the best way to get shit done. It might (and this is debatable) get shit done more quickly…but at what cost? Your sanity, your happiness, your health? No. The price is too high for this way of working. And yet it is so easy to get sucked into it, to listen to that voice in your head saying “you HAVE to get this done by this date or [insert dire consequence here]”; and get to pushing that rock uphill, through treacle, with steel boots on.
The fact that it feels so bad is a good indicator that there must be a better way to do it. Let me be clear, I am not against doing the work. I know that many worthwhile things (writing books, creating profitable businesses, creating great e-courses) require a lot of graft. What I object to is the inclusion of ‘hard’ in the work. I will happily work hard. But when it becomes hard work, unhealthy, stressful and exhausting…no, I can’t buy into that being a good thing.
So, last week, I was doing my daily check-in with my body, mind, heart and soul and got this message:
“Breathe. Slow down. Unclench. Relax. Let go of the reins.”
This has become my mantra for the last week (and probably will remain so until the end of the year, because of my susceptibility to ‘white line fever’).
“Breathe. Slow down. Unclench. Relax. Let go of the reins.”
There is no suggestion of stopping doing the work. It is just doing it in a different way. A more relaxed, at ease, laid back, calm, composed way. As opposed to running around with my hair on fire, trying to meet impossible self-imposed deadlines, pushing that rock uphill (through treacle, with steel boots on).
I suspect I’m not the only one who needs this mantra.
“Breathe. Slow down. Unclench. Relax. Let go of the reins.”
A deep breath or three makes such a difference to your level of tension – when you’re tense, you forget to use your whole lungs to breathe. Slowing down allows you to see if there’s a better way of moving the rock than pushing it uphill (there is always a better way!) Unclenching your jaw, shoulders and buttocks releases more tension and gives you space to smile, to dance, to release shitty thoughts.
Relax. Sometimes it feels like there will be Dire Consequences. But when you relax, it’s easier to see that the Dire Consequences are often fiction. Or if they’re not completely made up, tension doesn’t help avoid them, so you may as well relax. Let go of the reins. When you’re holding on too tight, it helps to loosen your grip and see that flow will take you where you need to go without the angst.
“Breathe. Slow down. Unclench. Relax. Let go of the reins.”
If this mantra feels right for you, take it with my blessing. If it triggers you, maybe you need it too?! I know I’ll be saying to myself every day (maybe even every hour of every day!):
“Breathe. Slow down. Unclench. Relax. Let go of the reins.”
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