Do You Focus On Problems Or Dreams?


I am not a huge Black Eyed Peas or Will.I.Am fan, but I was curious when I saw that Joanna Lumley (of all people) was meeting him. The programme was fascinating – not just because of Joanna’s obvious infatuation with a guy who is bonkers, but also because of that bonkers guy. (by the way, in my world, bonkers/mad/barmy are compliments!) Will.I.Am, it turns out, is an intriguing man. A musician, a philanthropist, a visionary and a tech-obsessive with a wonderful attitude to progress, success and doing his bit.

I loved the coca-cola bottle clothes (Ekocycle) – this is my kind of idea – innovative, barmy and using things that we throw away by the tonne. I loved the philanthropic efforts – helping kids from similar backgrounds to get the education and support he was lucky enough to get. But what I loved most was his philosophy on life and success. Here’s a snippet:

“I don’t focus on my problems, I focus on my dreams. You gotta put yourself in the situation of opportunity, determination, optimism, confidence, discipline, and surround yourself with good people.”

That statement stopped me in my tracks, and had me rewinding to hear it again, then once more to write it down! And I knew this would be the subject of this week’s OnTheBeach (don’t you just love it when an idea drops into your lap?!)

So let’s take those things one by one.

I don’t focus on my problems, I focus on my dreams
Which do you focus on? What’s wrong in your life, or what you want to create…and the next step to get there? It’s so easy to get drawn into bitching and moaning and focusing on what a terrible shame it is for you, or what is getting in your way, or where the universe is conspiring against you (like last week, when it started hailing the moment I left the house…I mean, seriously?!). I can easily get drawn into it myself – when life isn’t going the way you want it to, it’s so tempting to go into the problems…but the problem (!) with that is that it isn’t always about fixing the problem, it’s about wallowing in the problem. Also, while you’re focusing on your problems, your dreams are being ignored, because there’s no time for both.

This is not about ignoring your problems, it’s about paying more attention to the things that will solve those problems – your dreams! So which gets the bulk of your attention? And how can you bring a little more of your attention to your dreams this week?

Opportunity
You can’t ‘make’ opportunities come to you, right? Well, kind of. Part of it isn’t down to you. But you can put yourself in situations where opportunities are more likely to find you. If you’re a musician and you stay in your house all day every day never speaking to or singing to anyone, how’s opportunity ever going to find you? If, on the other hand, you gig (or YouTube if you don’t want to/can’t gig), you’re getting out there, you’re meeting people, you’re making yourself visible to opportunity. Last year I was looking for guest blogging opportunities…and I found them, then they started to find me, friends started to tell me about sites that accepted bloggers – all because I started to look for opportunities and make myself visible to opportunity. What can you do this week to look for or make yourself visible to opportunity? (Tip: tell people what opportunities you’re looking for!)

Determination
It is easier to stay in place than it is to change. Ironically, it might be painful and you might hate staying in place, while you might feel free and joyous when you make changes…but it’s still easier to stay put. To move requires risk. So you need a bit of fire in your belly to get you to go for it…whatever it is. Determination, focus, persistence, conviction, dedication…if you have a Big Dream, you’re going to need some of that! Sometimes determination can be seen as a ‘grit your teeth and push through’ thing, but determination can also have an ease to it, a more feminine quality of flow. Like, I am determined to embody my vision to have the freedom to follow my inspiration every day. But I don’t scowl as I’m doing it, I don’t ‘push’ myself – I’m also determined to do it in an easeful, flowing, joyous way. What are you determined to do? What are you committing to? And what can you do this week to show your committment to your best life?

Optimism
I used to be a pessimist, and a cynic. And my life sucked. Because there was no reason to change it – what would be the point, because I was so pessimistic I genuinely believed it wouldn’t change. Once I realised how damaging that attitude was, I got optimistic and changed my life completely. Optimism is our natural nature – kids are ridiculously optimistic until it gets beat out of them! I heard today about my friend’s grandson, who plans to drive an Aston Martin – and he has no doubt it will happen for him. He’s 11. I hope he still has that optimism at 21, 31 and 41! If you think it won’t work out for you anyway, you won’t try…or you’ll be half-assed about it. If you are optimistic about your outcome, you’ll keep going even when it looks a bit pointless, you’ll look for answers that you KNOW are there, and you’ll take the actions you need to take. Where are you being pessimistic or holding back on your life? What if you believed, optimistically, that big things were possible for you? What might you try then?

Confidence
Do you know, lots of people who look very confident on the outside are nervous wrecks inside? Lots of people who appear confident don’t feel confident. Confidence isn’t something you have or have not. It’s something you build by taking action. I wasn’t a very confident driver – I failed my test 3 times. But once I passed my test, I drove and I gained confidence. Now, I know people who avoid motorways completely because they’re not confident to drive on them…which I think is odd, because in the first 5 years after I got my license, I spent most of my time bombing around the motorway network to visit friends in other parts of the country. Practice makes confident. So what can you practice this week that will build your confidence in you?

Discipline
Sitting on the couch eating chips ain’t gonna get you a life you love…unless you love sitting on the couch eating chips of course, which I do. But I also love other stuff – making money, coaching clients, writing books. And to do them, I need some discipline – not with whips and chains – just the discipline to sit down and write, or connect with potential clients, or to create money-making opportunities. Like determination, discipline can be seen in a very harsh light, but again, you can be disciplined without jack-boots and threats. You create habits that help you show up in the way you want to every day. For me, yoga, meditation, dance and music are disciplines that I use throughout my day to help me keep on track. What habit can you begin this week that will help you move towards a life you love?

Surround yourself with good people.
This one is self-explanatory, right? The better support team you have around you, the better you can do. It took me a while to learn this, because I’m a sefl-sufficient, independant sort…but without support, without a Dream Team, you make your life so much harder! The more you can surround yourself with good people, the easier your journey will be. Other people can be our cheerleaders, mentors, teachers, sounding boards and creative partners…if you let them help you. So, this week, who can you invite into your Dream Team? Who can you share with or ask for help or get support from?

So there we have it, wise words from Will.I.Am!

“I don’t focus on my problems, I focus on my dreams. You gotta put yourself in the situation of opportunity, determination, optimism, confidence, discipline, and surround yourself with good people.”

Love

Donna.x


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