Feeling Like A Fraud

A couple of people this week have been expressing their admiration, respect and appreciation for me. I accepted the compliments with grace as I always try to – I feel that deflecting a compliment is like throwing a gift back in someone’s face and telling them they’re wrong when they’re trying to be nice. However, I must admit that I felt like a bit of a fraud. Not because the things they were complimenting me for were not true, they were (I am fabulous! Lol), but because the good stuff is only half the story.

I might be inspiring because of my stubborness, determination and drive…but they don’t see the days when I can’t even be bothered to get out of bed and give up on the day before it’s even began. I might have written some inspiring stuff and made some inspiring videos, but they don’t show the days when I don’t have an idea in my head and struggle to write more than 4 words or fluff my lines 17 times before getting the video ‘right’. I might be gifted at coming up with easy ways to explain complexicated stuff, but there are times I struggle to remember words for ordinary, everyday things.

But isn’t that the case for each of us? We all have genius and brilliance and magnificence…and we all have moments of stuckness and ordinariness and being utterly rubbish. I felt a little uncomfortable with all the praise because underneath my genius and brilliance, I am an ordinary human being with foibles and f-ups and times when I am the worst of myself, not the best. So who says that ordinary human beings don’t deserve compliments?

I’d be very odd if I didn’t have my moments of being less than perfect…and this is what led to me getting over my discomfort. I ALWAYS notice my moments of imperfection. Occasionally (less these days, but I still do it), I give myself quite a bit of shit for my mistakes and for not living up to my idea of ‘the best of me’. I OCCASIONALLY notice my moments of brilliance, genius and magnificence (more these days, but some still pass me by!). So when other people pick up on those things, not only should I be graciously accepting the compliments, I want to be taking their cue – and remembering to appreciate my own brilliance, magnificence and genius.

Do you accept compliments graciously? Do you notice your f-ups way more than you notice when you ‘get it right’? Do you notice when you did something magnificent? Do you notice your moments of genius? Do you appreciate yourself? I’m guessing the answer is more no than yes, because most of us are way too hard on ourselves. So this week, make an effort to compliment yourself. Make an effort to see yourself at your very best and give yourself some credit for how magnificent you are. Yes, you.

If you struggle with this, that’s ok. Do it anyway. Find things about yourself to appreciate anyway. With practice it will get easier. And you can always practice on other people – noticing their magnificence, brilliance and genius will help open your eyes to your own. And before you start saying ‘oh but I’m not…’ – you are. You absolutely are. Everyone of us is a unique, magnificent, very special person. You are no exception. And if you need reminding of this, watch this video – it will remind you of who you ARE.

Love

Donna.x