I’ve realised lately that I’ve been chronically depleted. The signs were there…tiredness, trouble sleeping, not wanting to start work on a Monday, not getting to do my creative work til late, feeling joyless and lacking in energy. But of course, I have been ignoring the signs.
Because I am extremely busy and important don’t you know?!
The irony is that I KNOW this approach just DOES NOT WORK.
I’ve had meltdowns and illnesses and I’ve proved it to myself over and over again, and yet there is still a tendency to run on ‘depletion’ mode instead of ‘fill up’ mode. But I KNOW that if I run on ‘fill up’ mode, I’ll have more to give, I’ll feel better and I’ll have more fun and enjoy life more.
Facepalm.
Funnily enough, the other day I came across the Davidji meditation “Fill what is empty, empty what is full.” And the bit that stuck? Fill what is empty of course. Although I’ve amended it in my head to:
Fill what is not full.
When you are full, you can overflow – give from the saucer, not the cup as the saying goes. Until you are full, you are always depleting yourself. For most of us, this means ignoring our self-care, self-love, energy, enjoyment of life until we realise that we are close to meltdown or we get ill. And even for those of us whose self-care is ‘good’…it’s not enough to fill to overflowing.
This isn’t something we normally hear of or see – people filling themselves to overflowing – feeling great, loving life, taking excellent care of themselves and paying that forward (it works with money too…once you have more than enough, you can start to easily give to others without depleting yourself). The examples we see are that everyone is chronically stressed, tired, under-cared for, low in energy and joy.
Or they do just enough to be OK. Not 100% joyous, but not miserable either. Not ‘Tigger’ levels of energy, but not lying face down on the floor exhausted either. Not ‘bad enough’ with their self-care to be ill, but also not good enough to be feeling totally cradled in the arms of love.
Well, when there’s better to aim for, maybe OK isn’t good enough. Maybe the goal needs to be thriving, not just surviving? Maybe we need to aim higher than just fair to middling? Maybe we need to fill what is not full? I’m talking about how good we feel, how energised we are, how cared for we are, how loved we feel, how full and able to overflow we are, how much we’re loving life.
I check in daily with my self-care, self-love, energy and joy…but I think I need to add in to check how depleted or full I feel…and make sure that is going in the right direction. Let’s try it now…how full are you feeling on a scale of 1-100 where 1 is “I’m so depleted I can’t even raise my head” and 100 is “I am full to overflowing – I feel great!” Trust your intuition to share how full you’re feeling.
And let me be clear about this – this is not an outside job. This is not about changing your circumstances in order to feel better – it is about taking such great care of yourself and your life that no matter what your circumstances, you feel good. It’s an inside job.
So I’m going to guess that most of us feel more depleted than full. How do you fill what is empty? How do you refill the tank? What do you do to replenish your energy?
These things help me: Nature, reading books, getting plenty of sleep (these two are fighting each other right now as I read books late into the night and then get no sleep!), self-care days (haven’t had one of them for a while…I’m meant to have one a month…I’ve had 3 so far this year. Oops.) Walking, sunshine, meditation, laughter, dancing, time with friends. Great self-care and self-love (fully supporting and backing myself). Joy. Writing.
Nothing that has to cost much money, nothing too difficult…
And of course you also need to know what depletes you. For me, lack of sleep, stress, too much people time (introvert problems), worry, taking on problems that aren’t mine, lack of self-care and self-love. Lack of joy. E-mails, social media, information overload. Ignoring the signs that point to the need for better self-care, self-love, energy and joy.
Nothing that cannot be dealt with.
So, my mission for the rest of 2016 is to move towards fullness – to fill what is not full. It’s not about getting it perfectly right instantly – there’s bad habits to be broken, good habits to be built on and new habits to be learned. It’s about getting better at taking care of this body, mind, heart and soul so that I can live more fully.
Want to join me?
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