Flip it on its Head

Apologies for being late with my newsletter article this week – I was busy yesterday being exceedingly grumpy! Partly hormonal, partly because I cannot bear the cold, the snow, basically I don’t like winter! As far as I’m concerned, bears have the right idea hibernating for the winter. One of my ambitions in life is to be able to just take December off work and run away to warmer climes! Or just spend the entire winter in a happier climate. Australia is top of my most wanted winter abode list at the moment. As far away from snow and ice and 17 layers of clothing as I can get. I know that other places get it much worse (and where I live has not had it ‘bad’ really – there’s mere centimetres of snow), but I still can’t stand it. On the plus side, it helped me come up with an article for this week’s newsletter. Enjoy!

By the way, I’m currently working on a new product (to be released before the New Year) about making next year the best year of your life. If you’ve got any questions, thoughts, ideas about this subject, let me know and I’ll make sure your questions will be answered.

– Flip it on its head –

So, yesterday I spent the entire day complaining bitterly about the weather, I had a face like a spanked arse and I was very grumpy. I realised today that part of this was hormones (gotta love those hormones!), but still, I was unusually fed up with it all. But this morning I remembered to turn it on its head, and rather than focus on the thing I detest, use that as a reminder and a spur to focus on what I do want. Abraham Hicks call this the contrast that calls forth the desire. Without the contrast (the thing you don’t want), how could you find what you do want?

So, turning this on its head, what do I want? Well, to spend the winter months in a warm climate basically. For years I’ve entertained the idea of living by the beach somewhere lovely and warm. In the winter months, this desire gets VERY strong! When it’s snowing and icy and cold, it gets incredibly strong. But yesterday I was using that super strong energy on the thing I really didn’t want, focusing all my attention on that fact that I hate winter/snow/ice/cold/ having to wear all my clothes at once to keep warm. I did a great job of it too, I really went for feeling bad. Yes, it was fuelled by hormones…and I am glad that it was, because if I hadn’t been so grouchy and cantankerous I possibly wouldn’t have realised that it needed turning on its head.

All too often, we focus so hard on the things we don’t want that they become all-consuming, taking us on an ever-decreasing circle to misery. I did an excellent job of making myself feel worse and worse yesterday. The good news is that you can use the same skills you have to make yourself grumpy – focusing on something clearly, repeating it endlessly and magnifying the feelings – to make yourself feel good! Just by turning it on its head. The contrast creates the desire. When we see something we do not want, this helps us decide what we do want. The trouble is, we don’t use it in that positive manner most of the time. Instead we just keep on about the think we do not want. In my case, cold/snow/ice.

Easily done, that’s what’s in front of us. That’s what we have to deal with, so isn’t it natural to focus on the fact that I hate the snow? Maybe it is. But does it feel good? No. And you know me, I see doing things that don’t feel good as insanity! So I’m going to focus on what I want. I’m going to use that contrast to help me see what I want – life in more temperate climes. Imagine if I didn’t. I would just moan about the weather for days, getting more and more grumpy. Nothing would change. The weather would still be the weather. The snow would still be there. I would be grumpy for however many days over the winter months – at worst, it could be 4 months of grumpiness!

BUT if I use that contrast to inform what I want… Now I can feel better when I focus on what I do want. Somewhere warm in winter. Yum. And when I am focused on what I want, inspiration can hit me. About how I might achieve that desire. Winter holidays, arranging my business so this living somewhere else for winter is possible, finding a man who owns an island resort in the Maldives (hey! I can dream!). The point being that not only do I change my mood from grumpy to positive anticipation, I also have way more chance of moving away from the circumstance that makes me grumpy. This can apply to anything – money, your job, your relationships, your health. Notice what it is you don’t like and use that to decide what you do want. And then focus on that thing you want. This way you get to spend less time in the grumpy chair, and maybe that desire for something new will inspire you to new heights in your life?

– Something to Play With –

What are you grumpy about at the moment? What is the desire that is born out of the contrast? Eg if you are broke, the desire for wealth is born. Focus on what you want, not what makes you grumpy…and notice if you feel inspired to do something to make that desire reality. Want to share your thoughts on this article? Leave a comment below

Love

Donna.x