I’ve been reading “The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tale of Fred, the Vampire Accountant” (it’s just as good as it sounds)…a story about a boring accountant who was turned into a vampire. He ‘wakes up’ not turned into the glamourous, Hollywood vampire, but himself still…only with a strong aversion to sunlight and silver.
It got me thinking about loving life even when it’s really boring. When you think about loving life, what do you think of? Is it private jets and Jacuzzis and parties with the stars and lots of bling? Or is it a box set and a biscuit, or a book and a roaring fire? Often when we think about enjoying life and living to the fullest, a movie inspired version of ‘the good life’ comes to mind.
The version chased by reality slebs, footballers and wags that involves fast cars, shopping, being seen in the best places, wearing the best clothes, and getting papped. Forgive me, but none of that sounds like loving life to me. It sounds like following a will’o the wisp into a bog of emptiness and insincerity. It sounds hollow and joyless.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against fast cars, nice clothes and fun places. It’s the idea that you have to have those things to have a great life that I object to. Mainly because that’s bullshit! There are lots of people with fast cars who are not happy. There are lots of people with the best clothes who are not enjoying life. And there are lots of people going to all the best places and clearly not loving life.
A client recently realized she’d created this shiny, happy picture of how her most fabulous life would be…only she wasn’t really interested in any of the bling or the appearances – she’d bought into the ‘ideal life’ in magazines and tv, not her own ideal life – the one that she would actually enjoy. When she started working out what she really wanted, all the bling and symbols of success dropped away, to be replaced by laughter, creativity and joy.
Sounds much more like it to me. You need to create your own version of what a great life looks like…instead of measuring yourself against an ‘ideal’ that you don’t really aspire to. Would fast cars and paparazzi following you around make you happy? If so, why? What would that give you? (go after that instead) If not, what would make you love life? Go there. Aspire to that.
And don’t forget to update your version of your ‘ideal life’ as you go along. I saw a card the other day that said “Fun used to involve parties and getting home at 6am, now it involves falling asleep in my chair.” Me enjoying life once involved clubs and late nights/early mornings, now it’s more about books, yoga, naps and sitting in the garden.
You get to love your life because of the things in it you love, not because it measures up to some arbitrary judgement of what constitutes a life worth loving. For some people that will be fast cars, fast men and fabulous clothes. For others it will be crafting and Dr Who. For others it will be books and afternoon snoozes.
All of them are valid as long as you enjoy them. It’s your life. You get to love it…even if it’s ‘boring’.
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