My client said to me “it’s ok for you to find time to write, you don’t have small children”. Which is true, I don’t. But that’s the reality she has to deal with, so she can either use that as an excuse to do NOTHING and not write at all, or she could find a way within the parameters of her reality. She could either snark about it being alright for me, or she could be creative about what she could do.
Within my client’s reality, she couldn’t do 5 hours a day writing (me neither) or 2 hours 3 times a week (which is what I do when I’m working on a book). But she COULD do 10 minutes 3 times a week and ½ an hour at the weekend. That’s an hour MORE than she was doing the week before. It was better.
It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t what she wanted to do (20 hours writing a week). But it was time to write. It didn’t work out as she expected. At first, despite having sought support from her family, she struggled to get the time. But rather than give up, she changed the times she tried to take, called various people out on their unhelpfulness and took the time anyway, even if there were meltdowns or dishes to be done or a great TV program on.
And then, something miraculous happened
…she realised that the 10 minutes usually led into at least 30 minutes. The 1/2 hour session often went to an hour. And no one was neglected or hurt by her taking what was now 2+ hours a week to write. Not only that, she found herself finding more pockets of writing time…in the car outside school, at the library while the kids were picking books, during creativity hour with the kids (colourful pens and big bits of paper are great for mapping out ideas), instead of 2 hours reality TV flop-time at the weekend.
You see, when you give your dream a little time, even if it’s “not enough”, even if it’s only 10 minutes here and there, you realise that working on your dream is great fun…and you start to find other ways to honour that fun time (and get your family involved). You may also find that you don’t need as much time as you think you do. Even if I had time, I couldn’t write for 5 hours a day, my brain would fry! 2 hours is my max writing time.
We all have limitations, reasons, excuses for why we can’t do 100 hours a week on something…but that’s the reality of life. So, what CAN you do? You can’t do an hour a day? Can you do 10 minutes 3 times a week? Clients always object that this ‘isn’t enough’…but isn’t 30 minutes better than nothing at all?
No time isn’t enough!
No time to write, or work on your dream, or connect to your heart is not enough. 10 minutes is BETTER. It might not be what you want to do, but nor (I’m guessing) is NOTHING! And usually, when asked the 10 minutes 3 times question, clients will counter with MORE! 20 minutes, 3 times a week. 1 hour, twice a week.
Take a look at your reality, at your ‘limitations’ of time and space and energy and rather than giving up because you can’t do your thing perfectly, find a way to do it anyway. I’m not talking about shoe-horning more into your day – we’re all over-busy as it is. But look at what’s possible – can you study for your degree on the train to work? Can you do what brings you joy while your kids are swimming? Can you write in your lunch hour? Can you get up early to do yoga (I hate this one, not being a morning person, but I have a few clients who’ve done it and loved it)?
And if none of those ideas fit, what DOES work?
What CAN you do? Your limitations are simply the boundaries of the puzzle….they’re just what you have to work with. Never mind what other people can do because they don’t work or don’t have kids or their kids are grown (trust me, they’ll have just as many excuses and perceived limitations to doing what they want as you do!) Do what you can with the life you have…and trust me, when you give your dream time and space, time and space will expand.
It’s like my coach says “tell your brain you have the time, and your brain will work life out so you get the time”. Since I’ve been doing daily meditation, you’d think I’d get LESS done. I don’t. I get more done. Because I take that time to sit and be calm, my brain sees ‘I’ve got plenty of time’…and that’s how life works out. When I don’t have or take the time to meditate, I spend all day running to stand still and not getting stuff done.
It’s weird, and infuriating because it doesn’t really make sense to my logical brain – but I’ve seen the evidence over the past 2 months of meditating. And I’ve seen the evidence over 12 years of coaching that when people MAKE time for their dreams, the time they have for their dreams expands.
Try it – what would you LOVE to have time for?
When can you make and take time for it in the next week – even if it is ‘just’ 10 minutes 3 times a week? Do it – make time for your dreams, and just watch what happens!
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