I can’t do it.
Think Barack Obama…YES WE CAN! If you have the seed of a Big Dream, that seed came to you for a reason. You CAN do it. Yes, you will need to grow/change/jump out of your comfort zone. But you CAN do it. Whether you will do it or not is up to you, but you are perfectly capable. All of us have untapped potential for brilliance, creativity and joy – it’s time we started tapping it!
It is selfish to follow my dream.
Pffff. When we follow our Big Dreams, we are not only happier, more creative, more fun to be around, more interesting…we also give other people permission to do the same thing. What could be less selfish than teaching the people around you that you CAN go after your Big Dreams (imagine if they also started going after theirs?). Your Big Dream does affect other people around you, but you can manage that. If your Big Dream is to travel the world and you have 5 kids under 10 and a husband who hates travelling, you might just have to find a more creative way to follow that Big Dream!
If the outcome doesn’t meet my expectations, I’ve failed.
Boy, oh boy – this one is a biggie for people. We hate to ‘fail’, we hate to not live up to expectations. Especially if those expectations are unclear and unrealistic and impossible to live up to in the first place! Sometimes you will fail. That’s just how it is – you didn’t walk or talk on the first go, you fell over and fluffed your words a few times first. But that taught you how to do it right! When the outcome doesn’t meet your expectations, it gives you an opportunity to learn – either to adjust (or even define) your expectations or to do it better next time. There is no failure, just feedback.
People like me don’t get to do ‘x’.
Do you know what? The people out there ‘doing x’ are JUST LIKE YOU. They have their insecurities, their ‘pasts’, their cock-ups, their worries that ‘I can’t do it’. I have watched insecure, frightened people turn into successful business people; people who had never been anywhere out of their county alone go travelling the world all by themselves; people crippled with creative strangulation write books. Everyone has their stuff. And they are just like you. Normal people do extraordinary things all the time…why not join in?!
Obstacles are bad things.
This is an easy lie to bust. Obstacles come up to be dealt with. Simple. They do not come up to stop you. They come up so you can deal with them and move to the next level. If your obstacle is lack of confidence, it there to show you that you need to work on your confidence…and when you do…BOOM! Next level. Learn to love your obstacles – they make you stronger, fitter, better, and ultimately happier because the more obstacles you bust through, the more you realise how brilliant you are!
‘Their’ way is ‘the right way’ even when it feels wrong.
Anyone who tells you ‘this is the way you ‘have’ to do it’ just means ‘this is how I did it’ (or sometimes, ‘this is how I think it should be done even though I never did it myself’…grr!). We all have our own internal guidance system that tells us what’s right for us. For example, sensible, ‘businessy’, ‘professional’ marketing is not me. Not because I’m unprofessional, oh no sirree! Because to me, ‘professional’ is boring! And for my clients (smart, sassy, brilliant people who know there is more to them), the fact I have a personality and flaws and I’m not perfect is more attractive than ‘Perfect Coach’! Do it your way. By all means, get advice and help…but if that advice doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to ignore it!
There is a ‘right’ way to do it.
There are millions of ways to do just about anything. Imagine if everyone had the same writing style, or painting style, or travelled the world in the same way, or had the same marketing. Yawn! Some people find success via ‘traditional’ routes, some find totally unconventional ways to do the same thing. Some authors get published by companies and sell millions of books, some self-publish and sell millions of books…there is no ‘right’ way. There are conventional ways, but if those ways don’t appeal to you, go the unconventional route and make your own way!
It has to be perfect before I can share it.
An online networking group I am part of posted a question this week about overcoming perfectionism – I shared my jewelry beading teachers’ comment on imperfection – it’s the Buddhist way to create. Apparently when a Buddhist creates, they will deliberately put a mistake into what they are creating, as imperfection is what makes it perfect. Someone else shared that Microsoft go for 80% ready, then fix any bugs later (Microsoft customers might have guessed this!) So forget perfectionism – allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect and just get out there and have a go – you can fix mistakes as they come up.
Your Homework
What ‘lies’ have been stopping you from following your Big Dream? What have you believed that is just not so? What do you believe that might not be so…and what if you didn’t believe in anything that holds you back? I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject – leave me a comment below.
Love
Donna.x