My parents have a saying “Don’t let the b*stards grind you down” – and there are times when this is the most pertinent advice that can be given! Because this is exactly what happens if you’re not vigilant – years and years of criticism, minor annoyances and unsupportiveness can just grind down your good humour and confidence. Don’t let the b*stards grind you down.
How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here’s what you can do: don’t take it on. Don’t give away your power to someone else. Don’t allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don’t listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don’t take it on.
Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying ‘not at all’!! But if they call you ‘stupid’ or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that’s exactly what we do – we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.
Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don’t give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we’re more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we’re talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here’s what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, “feedback”: I look at it objectively (once I’ve calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve – then I let it go. If they don’t, I just let it go.
Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I’m HUMAN! Shock horror) – but I don’t give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff – know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don’t let anyone tell you different!
– Something To Play With –
Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you – keep chewing them over, you’ll find they taste a lot better! Share your thoughts on this article below – leave me a comment.