We all have our stories – created by how we grew up, how our love life has gone, how our career has been so far, how our friendships and social life have been. Sometimes these stories can be useful – for example, you may know from experience that when somone only gives you their mobile number and is usually in the garage when they speak to you, chances are they are already in a relationship! So your ‘old’ story may give you fair warning when you encounter a similar situation.
However, the past does not predict the future. Just because the sun shone yesterday does not mean in will shine today (especially relevant if you live in the UK!). Just because you were let down, dumped, made redudant, in trouble, lonely, tired yesterday does not mean you will be in the same situation tomorrow. Sometimes we let our story of our lives get in the way of this moment we’re in, and we judge this moment we’re in by our story, unfairly.
For example, on Monday I was tired. 7 years ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, so when I am tired there is a whole big story there to do with exhaustion, being unable to think, not having the energy to exercise or go anywhere. For a while the story served me because it stopped me from overdoing it, it made me far more conscious of my limitations and my energy patterns. But then, on Monday, I realised that the story had become a millstone around my neck.
Because on Monday, I was tired. Nothing more. The thousand other times I’d been tired for months were irrelevant, because I was just tired. And since I had that realisation, I’ve noticed that lots of us make our ‘story’ more important than the reality. And if we just ‘drop’ the story, and look at what’s here now, we might just have a different take on it. I’m sure you know someone (maybe even yourself) who has built up a catalogue of complaints against a colleague, a boss, or a spouse.
What if you were to drop that story just for today and just treat them as you would if you didn’t have the litany of reasons to be cross with them? What would change in your love life, your career, your friendships, your social life, your health if you dropped your story about that area? What might be different? I discovered that when I dropped my stories about my life, I felt lighter, freer, more ‘in the present’, and ultimately, happier! It may be that your story is a wonderful fairy tale, but if you are telling horror stories about your life, maybe it’s time to drop them and let a new story be told?
Something to Play With
What is the story you are telling yourself and others about your life? About your relationships? About your finances? Your career? Your social life? Drop the story for a moment, and imagine that you have no history in this area – does it look different? Does the story change? Do you want to create and tell a new story?