A note from Donna
Tomorrow I am off to Barcelona!!!! Mostly I am enormously excited, but there is also a tiny frisson of utter terror – I am not the best flier in the world. If they’d let me drive, I’d be fine (can’t speak for the other passengers though!). So tomorrow early evening UK time, send me some positive vibes…I need them! Other than that minor inconvenience though, I shall be having a marvellous time visiting my friend for a few days – I don’t know about you, but I really need some time just chillin’!
Please Sir, The Dog Ate My Newsletter
The hugely observant among you may have noticed a complete lack of newsletter last week…I do apologise! Right up until Monday, I was fully intending to write a newsletter for last week. Then, right up until Thursday, I was fully intending to send it late…and it just never happened! I have to confess that I don’t feel bad at all. In fact, I’ve been interested to notice that I am enormously relaxed about missing this deadline.
Normally I’d at least feel a little guilty, thanks to the conditioning that started when I was 5. Remember that? You had to hand your homework in on time, you had to hit your deadlines, you must do this by this day. Now, I do understand that schools have to do this, or let’s face it, maths homework would never get done! But then I think we carry it just a smidge too far. I have heard friends talk about a deadline for doing the washing, for shopping, for cleaning the car.
Everyone is working to a to-do list on a timetable that keeps us all busy ‘doing’ all the time, no respite, no break, no rest. Not only is there always something to ‘do’, but if we miss a (self-imposed) deadline, there is the attendant guilt for not having done it. I often used to say that I was the worst boss I ever had, and many of my clients (whether self-employed or not) can echo that sentiment – simply, we are our own harshest critic!
Obviously things have changed a little for me – I no longer consider myself a wasteful slacker who is a drain on the payroll, but someone who, given the right encouragement and inspiration will enjoy her work and ‘get things done’ as an added bonus. I’ve also come to realise that YOU NEVER GET IT DONE. The to-do list will never end, the chores will never end, the things that you want to do will never end. Shelves gather more dust, even more books get published, and before you know it, another Monday is rolling round and OnTheBeach is expected again!
So sometimes you can just let go of the reins just a little and allow time to pass without ‘achieving’ something. Not every moment in every day needs to be filled with the minutae of tasks – in fact, the most peaceful people on the planet spend time just ‘being’ – watching a sunset, or a flower, or the stars…just allowing themselves to not be doing. But won’t the world fall apart if everyone starts having this slack attitude to life? In rural Ireland, in the Caribean, in many other places, they seem to get by just fine without the deadline culture. And if you high-flying folks will forgive me for saying so…they seem just a tad happier too!
Something to play with
This week experiment with missing a self-imposed deadline, and letting it be ok. Play with the idea that it’ll all get done in it’s own good time (don’t do this at work! I am trying hard to get workplaces to understand…but for now, by and large they don’t!). Sit back, relax and notice that the world did not end when you let yourself off the hook!