Have you ever had the experience of something pulling you off track? You’re merrily going along your way, pursuing your Big Dreams, whistling as you forge your own path in the wilderness of life…and then something (often quite small) happens to pull you violently off your lovely track and into the ditch at the side of the road!
This happened to me on Monday – I’ve been merrily Setting Myself Up For Success in January, making exciting plans, finding new ways to work that are working well, implementing habits, rules and practices that help me to live my best life (enjoying it, energised and getting shit done!). And then. I read a comment on Facebook. Gasp! Not a comment on Facebook, I hear you whisper, horrified!
Dun. Dun. Duhhhhhh.
This comment was not aimed at me, not even vaguely related to me, it was a comment about running a business and what you ‘should’ do (don’t get me started on shoulds, we’ll be here for weeks!). Normally, I would read such a comment, disagree, and move on. But on Monday it seemed to open a little door in my mind and let in every negative thought I could possibly have about my business.
For the first time in 6 months, I seriously considered giving up. The ‘giving up’ thought normally comes up as a result of working too hard and not having a social life, and is usually quite a mild thought, easy to overcome. But yesterday it was a much deeper stab – it went right down into the realms of hopelessness, melancholy and gloom (normally it’s just a little light discouragement and disheartenment).
I found myself at one point sitting on the sofa in my office staring into space with a sad face on. Let me repeat: the comment was not about me, was not directed at me, was absolutely nothing to do with me, and I disagreed with it…but it sent me off into a total tailspin and dumped me in a muddy ditch at the side of the path I’d been happily skipping along. It was just a comment made by someone expressing their opinion about what you should do in business.
Why on earth would it have such an effect?! Today, I really have been wondering that, because today it’s not affected me at all – I’ve woken up back on the path and skipping again! But these things happen. And they happen often. You’re dancing joyously along in life, then something happens that puts you on your arse, wondering if you could ever do the thing you’re trying to do.
Something opens the door to the thoughts that freak you out in the wee small hours of morning, all your fears and doubts and insecurities. Here’s what I really want you to know: That’s normal. Everyone has fears and doubts and insecurities. Everyone gets pulled off the path sometimes – often when they’re putting someone else’s opinion over their own inner wisdom. Sometimes you might just be feeling a bit Monday-ish and something lands a blow that just hits a bruise you didn’t know was there
You can, of course, explore exactly what the bruise is they caught, and if that bruise gets pressed more than once, I recommend you do. But otherwise, when something knocks you off your path into a ditch, the very best thing you can do is reconnect with what you’re trying to do – reconnect with your Big Dream, reconnect with the why of what you’re doing and let that pull you out of the ditch.
Over the years, I’ve ended up in that metaphorical muddy ditch hundreds of times – sometimes it seems the ditch is filled with stinging nettles, sinking sand, or Devil’s Snare (the plant in Harry Potter that tries to eat you!), and it’s very hard to get out. But every time I’ve got out of the ditch and back onto the path – scratched, bruised and crawling at times, but out! The faster you can get back onto the path, the quicker you will reach your goals.
So let those goals and dreams and desires help you get out of the ditch and merrily following your yellow brick road to the joyful life that awaits you. Fix your eyes on the prize and keep moving, even if there are Facebook Comments lurking in the underbrush, waiting to trip you up and dump you in the ditch! This is probably the best set yourself up for success tip I can give you: Fall down 100 times, get up 101!
I would love to hear your experiences of ‘falling in the ditch’, and your thoughts on this article…please leave me a comment below.
Love
Donna.x
Comments
16 responses to “OnTheBeach: When You Get Pulled Off Your Path and Dumped in a Muddy Ditch”
Yep, it’s so easy to get pulled off track by something, then suddenly realise I don’t even believe that. Inner compass, check! x
No, it’s not always easy. It’s lucky we have an inner voice saying “you can do it, keep going” or it would be even more tough! x
Love it Leanne! That really speaks to your desire and that part of you that so wants to do your soul work ALL THE TIME, NOW! I totally empathise. But yes, (sadly) it is part of the journey…everyone I know who’s gone for something big has fallen in that blasted ditch a good few times. Just don’t let it stop you. Ever. xxx
Exactly Coralie – the more you practice getting up again, the easier it gets and the faster you can get up and crack on! x
Not the only one by a long way Sibylle! That’s why I share these things, because people feel so alone when it happens, not realising it happens to everyone! And I’m glad that stood out for you – I think that’s the most important phrase in this article! xxx
You’re so right…and you’re very welcome – glad it hit the spot for you! xx
Lol. I wish I didn’t get it either! And I wish the *first* time I noticed it was the last. Sadly, I am human and such is life! I’m so glad it connected for you. xxxx
Oh, Donna, I *TOTALLY* get this. I wish I didn’t!
I really respect your ability to notice what’s going on for you, reflect, and then put your reflection into practice (plus, y’know – share it transparently with all of us so we know we’re not alone too)
Thank you for writing this
Blessings
TANJA
Oh, Donna, that ditch is the kiss of death! At least until you can get yourself back out of it. Comparison is deadly, and some of the worst can be comparison to our own uber-lofty goals. We’d never hold someone else to the same ridiculous standards we hold ourselves to, and never be so hard on them for failing to get there as well/easily/quickly as we think we should be able to. Thanks so much for this post!
Oh totally, that happens to me on a daily basis. I blogged about it myself, with the book writing, recently,,,you think you’re doing so well and then out of nowhere an innoccuous comment or even constructive criticism smacks you in the chops and you think ‘It’s all wrong’.
I keep getting up, reframing, getting on with it…but it’s not always easy xx
Excellent, Donna. I have to remind myself if a certain comment or idea suits me. So many don’t. Good for you for correcting your course.
I know that place too Donna, I think I go there at least once a week. This time it was because I didn’t win lotto – even though I rarely buy a ticket, I bought one this week and started thinking how great it would be if I could work on my writing and website full-time, then I didn’t win (surprise) and promptly felt like giving up!
There’s lots of whys and what ifs and who am I kidding at those times, but like you and Cassandra said, we get back up again.
I remind myself I’m moving forward slowly and learning lots as I go and having fun most of the time, so even if I’m not as successful as I hoped at this early stage, I need to give it time and enjoy the process along the way.
It does get disheartening at times, but I guess that’s part of the journey. At least we’re not alone!
Yes we all have those days some more than others … I tend to just do like they say when you fall off the wagon with a diet .. indulge that day and then get back on track again tomorrow … funny thing is it still happens but the down is not so long anymore that positive thinking keeps you up even when something slips through the cracks.
Great post xx
Oh my gods, Donna, I’m so glad I’m not the only one it happens to!! -Alright, so I’m not “glad” that you have to go through this crap too (and Cassandra too from the sound of it), I’m just relieved to hear that I’m not dysfunctional or stupid for tripping, as you put it. What a rollercoaster this path can be sometimes!
The phrase that stands out most for me is this: “The faster you can get back onto the path, the quicker you will reach your goals.” THAT’s the key. We do not need to become perfect and never have any doubts again. Life will always have ups and downs. What we need is the ability to recover, and the better (and faster!) we get at this, the more successful we will be.
Much love! xx
Exactly Cassandra! And as my friend said today – we’re all on the same path, just in different places! x
I know that ditch all too well. Especially when I start comparing myself to others who have already “made it” and are at that place I want to be. But like you said, fall 100 times, get back up 101 times. There’s no sense in staying in the mud, especially when the world really does need our unique gifts.