– A note from Donna –
As you read this, I will most likely be asleep – even if it’s afternoon in the UK – yes, I am that lazy…but I have a good reason this time. Yesterday (if you’re reading this on Monday) I went to the V festival! I am so ridiculously excited about this – my favourite band are headlining, and I haven’t done the festival thing for a couple of years so the anticipation is HUGE! I do remember from years gone by though that even one day at a festival requires a massive lie in. So that’s what I’m probably doing…maybe I should get up and work, it being Monday…but I am SO not doing that! Hazah!
– You Should Do This Challenge –
What should you be doing? Instead of reading this? Instead of relaxing? Instead of having a nice weekend? Instead of enjoying your life? Possible answers: working; doing chores; visiting family; making things happen. “Should” really is a cruel word. It manages to make you feel guilty, lazy, unsuccessful, and bad about yourself in just 6 letters. It’s quite an achievement actually how bad “should” can make you feel, without trying.
Of course, it isn’t the word’s fault, it is the way we wield a ‘should’ – we use it as a weapon against ourselves. Try it – think of 5 things you should be doing or have done. Feel good about any of them? No, thought not. In fairness, as a weapon to make yourself feel like shit, it is enormously effective. But I’m guessing that as you’re reading this newsletter, feeling like shit isn’t high on your list of priorities?
If it is…what are you thinking??? I’ve long thought that in place of “I should” should be “I should but I’m not gonna” because most of the time shoulds are made up of things you don’t want to do. After all, if you wanted to do them, you would be! There would be no need to should on yourself. You may be getting the sense from this that I am not a big fan of the word ‘should’!
I don’t mind it in some uses, but when it is used by someone to beat themselves up over what they have not done (and probably will not do), it drives me into a furious frenzy. It is not motivating to go through a list of all the things you ‘should’ do; it is never good when ‘I should be doing the ironing instead of healing’ is the main thought in someone’s mind; and it is tragic when someone uses a should to stop themselves enjoying their life.
Please, for me, just for this week, don’t use “I should”…replace it with “I want to” and enjoy your life. Life’s too short to make it ‘shouldy’.
– Something To Play With –
Your challenge this week is to erase the phrase “I should” from your vocabulary. Every time you catch yourself saying it (and if you’re like my clients, this could be a hundred times a day!!), stop and replace it with “I want…” For example “I should be working” “I want to go and enjoy the sunshine” or “I should be doing chores” “I want to go to the pictures”. The world won’t end…and you might even enjoy yourself! Want to share your thoughts on this article? Comment below.