Do you have a vision of what things ‘should’ look like? For example, the perfect meditation is calm and serene, not wandering off to get a drink half way through, or grabbing a pen and scribbling down some ideas, or even (gasp of horror!) playing a quick game of Candy Crush while listening to the meditation introduction :-D.
Not that I’ve ever done any of those things. And certainly not all in one meditation. This morning. Ahem. Ok, I did exactly that this morning. Luckily I read a blog post this week from the lovely Allison Crow who reminded me to enjoy my shitty meditation!
You see in my head, there’s a perfect way to meditate, and you may be surprised to hear, it doesn’t involve Candy Crush, or wandering off to get a drink, or grabbing a pen. I’ve been doing the 21 day Mantra Meditation Challenge with Deva Premal and Miten and they introduce each mantra with a blurb…I’m not very good at just listening to people talk – I like to either make notes, or tidy up…or play a quick game of Candy Crush. Because it’s a mantra, halfway through I realised my mouth was drying out, hence the wandering off to get a drink. And I got a great idea while meditating for a guest post I need to write in the morning…hence the paper and pen.
And honestly, that’s often how my meditations go. If I don’t fall asleep, I get distracted, or I get an idea and grab a pen. And I’m ok with that, because it’s one of the benefits to me of meditating. I still my mind for 2 minutes, and ideas come. Woohoo! Why would I change that? I get what I need from it – whether that’s a snooze, or to see how distracted I am, or to realise I’m thirsty, or a great idea.
But that’s what we do. We have this idea in our head about how the perfect meditation/work day/life is supposed to look, and when ours doesn’t measure up, it’s wrong. Even if it really works for us, and we’d hate our life if we wore a pinny to bake cakes and were always dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and had perfect hair every day, we still try to live up to some unrealistic and impossible ideal of life.
But this is YOUR life. You get to do it as you. Your way. My way to meditate isn’t for everyone, and I’m sure there is someone out there who thinks I’m ‘wrong’. That’s their prerogative. It’s my life, I get to do it my way. It’s so easy to get caught in the trap of thinking our way is the wrong way. And often, there may well be a better way. But first, relax and realise that you are the expert on your life and yourself, and there may be a very good reason why you do things the way you do.
Trust yourself enough to give yourself credit for doing the best you can at all times…and if you then decide to change things up, it’s from a place of “I know what I’m doing and I know I can do it better” instead of from a place of “I suck at everything and I’m wrong in every way and I have to do it differently even if I hate the different way” – there’s a big difference in the two. One is fun, enjoyable, easy, gives you confidence. The other is hard, makes you miserable and undermines wonderful, brilliant, gorgeous you! Why do it that way?
The perfect way for YOU to anything is YOUR way!
Let me know in the comments what you are doing YOUR way – imperfectly and uniquely!
Love
Donna.x
Comments
12 responses to “The Perfect Way To Do Anything Is Your Way”
Lol. Oh, I feel your pain! Whenever we’re forcing ourselves to do anything ‘to get through it’, it’s a sign there’s a better way! 😀 x
Just the other day I decided to meditate outside…in a hammock…after a rainstorm. Bad idea! Not only did the hammock prove to be a horrible place to try and meditate in, the mosquitoes decided to suck me dry. But what did I do? I sat there for way too long enduring the pain of being bitten over and over again because I felt like I really needed to get through the meditation. But how could I meditate in that situation? Forget it. You’re right on point with this post, Donna. Wise woman goddess 🙂
Thank you. Yes, I think all of us get days like these! x
I am so delighted Leanne – I love meditation, and if you’re drawn to it, you absolutely do need to give it a try. And you have permission to allow your mind to wander and fidget and cough and need a drink all while meditating! 😀 Enjoy it…and let me know how you get it with it. xx
Thanks Julie – ooh I love it – it’s so true, meditation doesn’t have to be in the lotus position in silence, love your ways of meditating! x
You are very welcome Cindie! I am delighted you enjoyed it. xx
Lol. Yep. It’s such a shame that we can get put off something that’s so great (both meditation and yoga) because we are not a zen stick! 😀 Please do embrace your way of meditation…and sometimes, you do get to the Zen…but mostly it’s about distraction, aha’s for articles, and thinking ‘ooh, when I’ve done this I need to…’! xxx And your comment about yoga reminded me of an article I read lately – http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10671/10-reasons-why-bigger-people-should-try-yoga.html – perhaps you just need to find a class where you feel comfortable? (I feel more comfortable in Hatha Yoga classes – less competitiveness, less perfection 0 in my experience!) x
Brilliant Donna, there are many days when I’m like that also,(minus the candy crush 🙂 as are many I bet! It is up to you, up to each of us to find a way that works, as in all aspects of life. Love ‘trust yourself enough to give credit…. ” So true.! Acceptance is the starting point of change, when the time is right. Thanks for brightening my day 🙂
So liberating to read this Donna – this is why I’ve always avoided meditation! I know it would be so good for me and my overactive amygdala, but I don’t do it because I know my mind would wander and I’d fidget and probably start coughing and need a drink and so on. How freeing to know that if that’s my way to do it then that’s ok!
Great post Donna! Love it! I have my own way of meditating too. It usually involves a book, making art or the walking trail.
Keep Shining!
Julie 🙂
LOVE this, Donna!! Thank you for bringing a smile to my face this morning 😀 xo
I loved this; yeah I’m guilty of thinking that meditation is about serenity, calm and a clear mind. Not scratching, thinking about a blog post or getting pins and needles. I’m also guilty of avoiding yoga because I think only bendy, skinny people are any good at it, and if I go to a class I feel like I’m the odd one out…I should start embracing my way of doing things. With pins and needles in my bum and a squidgey tum.