It’s been an interesting couple of weeks – last week I had a 3-day week thanks to a trip to the cricket; so I had to ruthlessly cull my to do list in order to fit everything in. This week I realised that in the whole of August, I am working on 11 days. That’s 11 days to work on my major project, write articles, do social media stuff, e-mail, admin, accounts, and all my client calls, plus a teleclass I planned to run which needed a sign up list, a page, a blog post, promotion…not to mention actually running it.
Hmm. So I looked at my toodle-do list for the month, looked at my calendar and realised the chances of getting everything done without brain fry, long days and perhaps a hissy fit or two was quite slim. Now much as I love brain fry, hissy fits and long days, I’ve decided to forgo them this month and just abandoned the teleclass plan.
Yes, I said I would do it, I’ve started talking about it, got interest in it, and there was a reason to run it. And yet, the right to do was to let it go for now. As soon as I made that decision, I could relax and look at the other stuff on the toodle-do list for August without the attendant hysteria. It felt good to let it go, and be honest that I am not superwoman.
I’m aware that I am very lucky, I work for myself and I can just kick things off my plate if necessary, but all of us can benefit from stopping to evaluate how much we’re dealing with and getting rid of what can be released. Remember, it was a straw that broke the camels’ back, not a huge heavy old packing case, so if you can simply release a straw, that can be enough to save your sanity!
Are you wondering if you need this plate clearing?
Do you feel overwhelmed?
Are you stressed to the eyeballs?
Can you see a future of more of the same shit, different day?
Do you feel like it’s all on your shoulders?
Do you feel like you are running from the moment you get up to the moment you go to sleep?
If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, you need to clear some stuff off your plate. I know, you have 1000 reasons why you cannot possibly clear your plate, people rely on you, there’s only you, what will other people think of you…blah, blah, blah. I hate to pull the excuse rug from under you (well, actually I don’t, I like it, but I’m trying to be polite about it), but let go of your bullshit, please – you having a nervous breakdown, getting ill or having a screaming dicky-waz is not going to help those people who rely on you…so open your mind, just for a second about releasing something.
Here are 5 things to help you clear your plate:
1. Evaluate – does this really need to be done? Will anyone die if you don’t do it?
Often we think we have to do things that we really don’t have to do at all. Learn the difference between “I have to” (as in there’ll be dire consequences); “I want to” (as in if this doesn’t get done, I’ll be upset/stressed/mad); “I could do with…” (as in I could do with doing it, but if I don’t, the world won’t end); “I should” (as in if I wanted to I would’ve!) and prioritise accordingly. It’s not forever, just for while you’ve got too much on you plate, let go of the less important shit and do the most important shit.
2. Self-care
If you’ve read any of my stuff, ever, you’ll know I talk about self-care A LOT. For the simple reason that the better care of yourself you take, the more you can do, the easier life is and the less likely you are to have a nervous breakdown/get ill/have a screaming dicky-waz. It’s a no-brainer, especially if you have a lot on your plate (and ironically it’s usually the first thing that falls of the plate).
3. Allow people to help you/ask for help
Yep, I know you are superwoman and should be able to do it all alone. And there’s no one who can help…but if you didn’t have to be superwoman, and there was someone, and you could get help, what would you get help with? It may be just a cheerleader on your side, letting you know it’s ok to sit down, rest, abandon things you just don’t have time to do. Or it may be a person who isn’t pulling their weight…how will they know if you don’t tell them? And it may be paid-for help. If you don’t have time to do it all, who can you enlist to be on your team and iron/cook/shop/do admin? It’s worth parting with a few pennies to alleviate the burden on your shoulders. And even moving from going to the supermarket yourself to going online to do it and letting them deliver it counts here. Support is support, wherever it comes from.
4. Get your creative pants on!
(like superman pants, but more fun and with a lot more glitter) I often have conversations with clients where they tell me they can’t relinquish one thing off their very full plate, and no one can help, and there is no way no how no chance. Then we talk about it for a few minutes, maybe I throw an idea or two in, and they come up with many ways and ideas of how to release some stuff, extend some deadlines, get help and relax. All they needed was to put their creative pants on and find a way. The rules: be open minded, let all the ideas out of the pipeline, expect that you will find a way (and you will), have fun, use glitter whenever possible, and don’t dismiss every idea out of hand. Some of the ideas will undoubtedly be rubbish, but some of them will also be gold. And if you are no good at this, get a friend with a “fixit” attitude to help. (just don’t shoot all their ideas down, let them spark your own ideas!)
5. Play the ‘I’ll give you £1million’ game
If someone was going to pay you a million pounds to clear your plate, what would you do? Or if that amount of money doesn’t motivate you, if someone could grant your dearest wish if you cleared your plate, what would you do? Sometimes the motivation of not having a nervous breakdown, getting ill or have a screaming dicky-waz isn’t enough to kick your brain cells into gear, but big money and wishes granted are!
My darling-heart, this is your wonderful life. When your plate is over-full, it’s no fun, it’s hard work, and you become a grumpy-pants. No one wants that. Get stuff off your plate, take care of you and get the support you need. You deserve it.
