There’s something about self-employment they don’t tell you in the brochure. It ain’t easy to switch off! This weekend I had Saturday off, then on Sunday I did a bit of reading and writing and brainiac work. By Sunday evening my brain was so full, I couldn’t sleep. Because it was a Sunday, I ignored my normal parameters to stop with enough time to unwind. I also ignored my body’s signs to rest (the eyes that needed holding open with matchsticks for example) so I was WAY overtired.
Anyway, this wiped out Monday, because I was so tired I couldn’t concentrate, and had to have an afternoon snooze. It also impacted Tuesday, because I was still tired and brain-soaked on Tuesday. I’m not looking for sympathy here. I know my own care instructions: lots of self-care and days off or else. But this is the impact on me of working on a ‘rest’ day.
This wasn’t even desk-work or computer work. It was research, reading, organising…but it was all THINKING work and my poor little brain is eggsawstid. So, efficiency wise, it wasn’t really worth it. Getting ahead with work wise, it wasn’t really worth it. Self-care wise, it was an epic fail! I have got so used to having a couple of days off a week (some people call them weekends, don’t know if you’ve heard of them?) that if I don’t have a couple of days off, I feel it!
What made me think about sharing this with you today was that every coaching conversation I’ve had this week centered around low self-care. This is not a surprise…it’s been the central theme of many of my conversations since 2006…that’s why I wrote a book about it! And it’s why I bang on about it a lot. Because low self-care = inefficiency, low energy, low enjoyment of life, and life is just harder work.
When you are feeling cared for and your partner is pissed off, you are better able to handle it. When you are feeling cared for and you have a lot of work to do, you are better able to handle it. When you are feeling cared for and you have a problem you need to solve, you are better able to handle it. When you are feeling cared for and the bottom falls out of your world, you are better able to handle it.
If you are worn out and your brain hurts and you’re emotional (for no apparent reason) and you feel dispirited, it is harder to deal with whatever shit is going on in your life. You can (if you wish) continue to be superhuman. You can continue to pretend that you’re coping when inside you’re a step away from breakdown. You can sit at your desk trying desperately to get shit done. But why would you, when the answer is really simple?
Take care of yourself.
When do you get to rest? When do you get to recuperate? When you’re on holiday, once a year? Once Christmas is done? Only when you’re sick? Usually, I take a break in the evening. I also take 2 days off at the weekend. I take self-care days. I take holidays regularly. If I don’t, I notice, because my body and mind don’t let me get away with not taking a break any more. It doesn’t make me weak, or a lazy bastard. It makes me someone who respects and values and honours and takes care of myself.
If you are not getting the breaks you need, and your self-care is not a 10/10, I invite you to join me. Take a break. Refuel the tank. Take care of yourself. It’s more efficient that whipping yourself to exhaustion!
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