It’s interesting to me how often I have conversations with people that go along these lines – “oh I could never do that thing you do, I’m rubbish at (whatever it is) and you’re so good” to which I invariably reply “Well, I couldn’t do it either when I first started”. Competence in anything – whether it’s writing, making video, speaking in public, driving, operating a piece of technological wizardry – is often more a measure of how much practice someone has had than how brilliant they are.
Of course there are people who are natural geniuses, and are born able to walk, talk, ride a bike, program a video (hehehe)…oh no, there aren’t. Everyone has to learn how to do everything. I will allow that some people do have an affinity for a particular area which makes it easier for them to pick it up – some of us find writing easy, some find driving easy, some find cooking easy, some find running easy, some find predictive text easy…and the list goes on ad infinitum.
But not everyone is brilliant at everything. Even me – take DIY for example. Give me a hammer and some nails and a picture and I will look baffled for a while, bend 6 of the nails trying to get them in the hardest part of the wall then just ask someone who’s good at practical stuff to do it for me. Is this because I ‘cannot’ put up a picture? Well, yes…but I only ‘cannot’ do it because I haven’t learnt how to do it properly.
I was exaggerating slightly about the nails, but I only learnt 2 years ago (at the ripe old age of 33) what rawlplugs were and why I needed to care. It all goes over my head. I’m not that interested, and not that bothered. But if and when I do become interested and bothered, I’ll learn how to do it. Until then I shall be charmingly incompetent! What I won’t do in the meantime is berate and harangue myself for not being as brilliant at DIY as someone who has renovated 5 houses.
Of course they’re better than me, they’ve had more practice (and they were interested and bothered!). Trite as it is, practice really does make perfect. Our trouble is that sometimes we have so little confidence in ourselves that we put ourselves in the wrong for not having a clue about technology or DIY or business. But seriously, who told you that you should be able to do something perfectly first time when you’ve never done it before? And if someone did tell you that, I bet they couldn’t do everything perfectly instantly!
Something to play with
What can you ‘not’ do that someone else does really well? What’s the difference between you and them? What if the only difference was confidence and practice? (even if you think they have a million qualities you don’t possess) What could you do today to practice and give yourself confidence?
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A note from Donna
I’ve had better weeks in my life. Finding out my friend had passed away was a huge shock, and I think I lost half a stone in tears! But once again I see there is always a ray of sunshine behind even the darkest, stormiest clouds. First, the kindness shown by family, friends and people who don’t even know me is astonishing. And secondly, all the self-development tools and ideas I’ve been learning over the last few years have really helped me to get through the difficult times with less pain, fear and heartache. Had this happened even 3 years ago, I think I would have fallen apart entirely.